ick

I’ve been stressing so much lately, mostly over school and financial situations. I recieved a letter from my phone company saying they’re going to send my bill to a collections agency. This means my credit’s going to get fucked up and next time I need to apply for school loans I won’t be able to. I freaked, I didn’t know what to do. I called up my old boss he told me he’d lend me the money and send it to me on monday. That’s a little stress off my shoulders but I hope it gets here in time. I have to pay it by Friday, well Thursday actually because I am flying out early Friday morning.

My mom and I got into a huge fight over it. She kept yelling at me. I said I knew all of it but I just didn’t have the money. I only have a little under 200 dollars..plus I need to buy two plane tickets for Christmas break. That’s another thing she was pestering me about. I am to meet my boyfriend’s family over Christmas break and I have yet to buy my ticket she kept telling me not to go because it obviously was not the right timing I don’t know what to do becuase I already made the commitment.

I couldn’t do anything but sit and cry earlier. I feel like a wreck. I wish there was a pill I could take to make it melt away.

I have decided to go back down town Monday and apply for the job at the strip club. Anyone I actually do tell about it keeps telling me it’s not a good decision.  Like my old boss, he said even if I did start off as a cocktail server there’s all sorts of drugs and other bad situations I would get into. Honestly I don’t really want to work there but I feel like it’s hopeless right now.I’m willing to put up with bullshit if I have to. I’m only going there to work. I do like my job at the pub but I’m just not making enough money. If I’m cocktailing at the club I think  I should be able to make enough and stop stressing. I wil talk to them on Monday and tell them I am about to leave for Thanksgiving break but I can start when I get back. And with the new term I can work Tuesday/Thursday days, Friday/Saturday/Sunday nights. They close at 2am so it won’t be too bad.

*deep breath*

alright