happiness_in_a_pill : the studied bloodied

it dawned on me today that the world is an incredibly despicable place.

murder and death is a cashed in by the media. murder, suicide, massacres and the like are publicised for, what the news stations say, is for the public good, yet a tragedy’s byproduct is more viewers, the bigger the kills or the more shocking the circumstances mean the bigger television audience. we see people who have been in explosions by quote unquote ‘martyrs’, war victims, and anything else that can be exploited shown on the six o’clock news.

does the media want and wait for fatalities so they can have something ‘juicy’ to show? september 11 must have been a field day in this sense, i mean, they showed images of people falling from high levels of the Twin Towers falling to their deaths, and some people found this disturbing yet their other option was to burn to death or suffer worse when they collapsed. why is the general community obsessed with this? Like a public suicide, everyone just stares.

we have people so understood that they do this, they kill themselves rather than living? why can’t people get the help they need, it’s horrible to think that people feel like they can’t get salvation through help or medication and yet, I’m constantly bombarded with thoughts to do this. life is so incredibly excruciating for so many people just deal with it making the rest of us feel guilty.

an eye for an eye is the rule in america and people are killed for crimes against their respective community by their respective community. it doesn’t make the executor any better than the criminal they are killing, and the only difference is that they have permission to do it. worst of all is, is that i’m addicted to it.

there is poverty and famine all over the world, and then the victims of this are almost exploited by charity’s to guilt trip us into donating money every month cause no one wants to see a 4 year old die but we still don’t do anything and that makes us a bad person.

those advertisements are spliced with gym equipment and a plethora of other infomercials and pornography advertisements, "herbal sex pills", the latest way of defying age and hiding all the flaws we were born with or have inherited in our lives.

we have plastic surgery instead of getting off our arses, putting down the crisps and losing the weight the old fashioned way because we are too lazy and, in accordance with our culture, everything can be solved with surgery. if we don’t like our noses, our chins, our arms, our legs, our lips, our sexual organs even we can just nip/tuck them into perfection.

the majority of the western civilization are extorted into buying labels and brands to make us feel that we belong when all it is doing is nullifying our sense of self, our personalities and replacing them with a logo. we plaster ourselves with these clothes, these foods, these accesories because it makes us ‘fit in’ and the price for this is not only extensive amounts of money, but we sell ourselves while wearing them. "I wear this so I am acceptable" and in turn it just makes us into living billboards.

that’s all for my rant. just had to get some things out of my head. to update on personal news i completed my anthology of poetry last night. i am quite proud that i’ve managed to write up around sixty poems. now to pri$nt it off. cost of ink and access to printer —> eep.

apologies for the poor grammer, spelling and non capitalization etc. it’s two o’clock in the morning so yeah, not too focused.

i leave you know with the suicide note of virginia woolf, i put this on because i feel exactly the same, and i don’t know how long i can hold out, too expensive to live, and too expensive to die. too painful in all senses of the world to live now, death seems so promising:

"I have a feeling I shall go mad. I cannot go on longer in these terrible times. 
I  shan’t recover this time. I hear voices and cannot concentrate on my work.
I have fought against it but cannot fight any longer."

SImoNDICATION

SImoN
happiness_in_a_pill