Thinking slightly-less negative thoughts.

“What do you miss from the time before social distancing?“

It’s going to sound slightly incidental but I miss the work PA not being bombarded with, “Please keep a 2 metre distance from each other for your own personal safety. The management team thanks you for your help serving the nation in these challenging times” repeated every 20 minutes ad nauseam. If you combine this with either a radio station that plays the same 6 tracks every half hour or some random-ass CD they have thrown on which includes not only the English version of Ricky Martin’s La Vida Loca but also the Spanish one then you can maybe see why I wish I had selective hearing at work. 

But enough of that. 

So, I’ve managed to read or skim past most of my very old entries and it seems I’m more inclined to write when something negative has happened or when I’m feeling down (not always but often). Which is a damn shame because I’d like to remember the good times too. Maybe it’s because the diary was basically my only outlet for this kind of stuff. In any case I’ve decided to outline some positive things just in case future Toni ever stumbles across this in years to come. Hey Toni your life wasn’t all that bad! 

Things that are great right now (Ohh, what a challenge with the coronavirus running rampant, hey):

• You’re in one of the best shapes you’ve ever been in, and guess what, you’re nearly 34! Sure it sucks that the gym isn’t open at the moment but you’ve made-do before.💪
• You have two loving, wonderful partners (ethical non-monogamy/polyamory for those of you reading this) and more people you’d probably connect with if you a) didn’t have a lock-down in place and b) they didn’t live so far away ^{like in Australia.}
• The place you’re living in has cats, four cats! Cats, Toni! With their little bean toes and fluffy heads! (okay reading about this in the future might not be such a good idea…)
• Animal Crossing New Horizons exists! And you have it! 
• You have a kindle full of wonderful books to read. Yay for being an adult. 
• You’re on anti-depressants that actually help. Note that medication shouldn’t be the sole aid in boosting mental health but you’ve come a long way with therapy and hopefully can do some more later.
• You still have crazy-ass dreams that are fun to recount to others. 

So yeah, all is not a big ball of negativity. On that note, my back fucking hurts. 🤣

-Toni