It’s all about the gay!

Last week, I wrote about my online friend, Pomo. Last month, Pomo was strong-armed/guilted into resigning his teaching and coaching positions at a Christian school. This week, I feel compelled to write about him again due to a particular question one or two people are asking him. Basically, they are asking him why he continued to teach at a Christian school after accepting the fact that he was gay. They argue that the should’ve known this such an end would result once the school found out.

In fairness to those asking, it’s not exactly an outrageous question. It certainly makes sense to wonder why anyone would want to work in an environment that’s so clearly hostile to them. And I suspect it’s a question that either Pomo had begun to struggle with, or eventually would. And the people (or at least some of them) asking the question are sincere and not simply trying to be difficult. So I don’t think this is just a case of them trying to turn the situation around on him.

However, I also have to note that Pomo just embraced his sexuality in the past three to six months. Now perhaps the difference between me and those asking the question (they seem to be either straight or ex-gay/celibate gay/”Side B” Christians) is that I have actually experienced those three to six months after coming out. I remember what that time in my life was like — at least as well as anyone can really remember such a chaotic and confusing time in their lives. I shock, the occasional numbness, the newness of everything. In short, everything came crashing down and my mind was overloaded. And it took me years to sort through all the implications of my newly embraced sexuality.

Having been there, I can see why someone might not jump to change careers, even if it makes sense to do so. (And I’m not actually granting that it would’ve made sense for Pomo to do so.) If anything, I’d be inclined to let the dust settle and try to figure out things more. Then I’d look at the job situation and make a carefully informed and considered choice. So the question would’ve made more sense to me in another five to six months rather than right now.

But I think what really got me about the question is how someone chose to phrase part of the question:

And the second question, why did you still work at an institution whose values had drifted so far from your own?

I’ve added the italics to emphasize the phrase in question. Because let’s be honest here by admitting that we’re talking about a difference in outlook on whether homosexuality is sinful or not. So as far as we know, the “values” in question revolves around that single issue.

But last I checked (though the Religious Right acts otherwise), homosexuality was not the only issue covered by “Christian values.” Last I checked, there’s also a whole lot of other stuff, like telling the truth, loving your neighbor, helping those in need, forgiving those who have hurt you, and so on.

To the best of my knowledge, Pomo still agrees with all those other Christian values. For all I know (though I admit my experience suggests it’s a statistical impossibility), Pomo agrees with every other doctrinal and moral stance espoused by his former employer. So to suggest that his values are “so vastly different” simply because of disagreement over this one issue shows just how focused on this one issue everyone really is.

Again, this underscores that it really is “all about the gay.” Otherwise, why suggest that he should’ve looked for a different job over a single disagreement with a lengthy list of doctrinal and moral beliefs? Why call a disagreement over a single point a “vast difference”? It just makes no sense. Why shouldn’t he stick with a job where he agrees with everything else and is doing a great job? Why not wait to see if there’s another way to work out the difference of opinion?

Gay people often get accused of making a big deal out of our sexual orientation. Is it any surprise when those around us do so?

And perhaps some Christians should consider replacing the Nicene creed with the much simpler motto, “Being gay is bad.” After all, that seems to be the most important thing anyway. Why not officially acknowledge that fact?