What do I do now?

I now realize that I’m letting people influence my decision on dating HP. I know what people say about him and his behavior etc. I know they don’t like him and find him hard to deal with but I don’t. I understand what’s his problem and why he freaks out people. His illness is his downfall but otherwise he’s great. I just wish he was more romantic and gave me more 4play before sex. I’m all for the passionate, tear my clothes off, let’s get to it thing but sometimes, I want to be explored and caressed and woo-ed. I understand I’m his first as he claims serious relationship (we surmise his first EVERYTHING) but what I struggle with is making these guys better men for other women. It never fails! I train them to be more compassionate, sensual, romantic and sexual and I wind up getting left and another woman benefits from all of my hard work! I vowed with HP that I WOULD NOT teach him anything and let the next woman do it for a change! I’m sick of it all together! Why should my hard work be in vain? I suffer with their mis-steps and be pateint and understanding all for them to turn around and dump me! James was was the last straw! I helped him lose weight, work on his hygiene, taught him how to romance women, brush his teeth and gave him the tools to understand them and look what he did to me! Left me in debt and used my teachings for another bi*#*! I’m not mad at her. It’s not her fault. I’m just mad that she gets the reward from me Even my ex’s wife! She met him through me and how he orally fixes her is through MY working with him! He sucked at it until I taught him how! Enough is enough! Now, with HP, I want to teach him- kind of. I don’t plan on leaving him for a while and I don’t think he wants to leave soon (I asked him Monday if he wanted to break up and he quickly said no. I asked if he was sure and he quickly replied positive), so I should be safe, right? I just can’t bring myself to do it though. I did tell him I would like more 4play and he said ok but I didn’t get a chance to tell him about the romance and the flirting. He tries to be like me and get like random people to like hi-5 him or jumps in their convos or speaks to people and touches girls hair etc and everyone gets creeped out by it. I get away with it because I’m cute and I have more charisma than he does. He on the other hand, comes off as weird so it doesn’t fit him and thus creeps people out. So I get all these weird looks and stares from people at school and friends who know what he’s like and they’re like why are you dating him! My only reponse is he’s smart and the sex is good. It is good but the oral……. well it needs improvement! You can tell he’s unexperienced, but God bless him, he tries! Honestly, I like him for other reasons. We get along well, and share many many interests. It’s a bonus that he’s intelligent.