WTF?!

So tonight if we go to the hooka lounge, I’m goin for it. He tells me that the skinny little thing gave him her number and I’m all like go for it but he says no and all this other stuff. In my head I’m thinkin like what the fuck. What about me. I thought we were clicking and all this and then it hits me. I’m reading way too much into this and came nearly to tears and then I thought, umm why! He doesn’t even know the real me and chances are, once he finds out, he’ll head for the hills anyway so I’m back to normal. Summer 1 is over and I got a B which is fine by me-although I wanted an A. Whateve. As long as my hist and psy grades are A/B I’m good right? A grad school will take me. But back to this skinny SOB!!! I’m going for it no if’s and or buts about it! I gotta kiss him and see if it’s there. H tells me the only prob tonight is Nate wants to come and I got the feeling it was to be me and him but then he tells me about the skinny party girl that hit on him. Was that just a test to see my response? Maybe and if so, I failed. I told hm to go for it. If Nate does come. I’m hitting him in the balls if he touches me. I’m moving after what E did to me. I don’t feel safe there. I haven’t slept or ate or anything since then and I found this nice apt 3 blks from campus. So if he comes back, the tpo will send him up the river!!!