ugh part 2

So, I talked with Soph I guess it was yesterday, and things were good again. Then she calls me today and they’re bad again. I’m just really over the whole thing. This is no way to treat a close friend, regardless of what the situation is. If she throws me away I won’t come crawling back. I don’t play that game. She’s on fairly thin ice here. Logically I feel like she’ll come around, but I’m really not sure right now.

I haven’t dealt with the Elaine situation, nor have I come to any conclusion yet. Staying the course would be ideal, but I doubt that’s really possible. Her roomie Maya, who is my friend, and the reason I met Elaine, called me yesterday, nominally to ask about the research colloquium, but then asked me “what do I feel about public displays of affection”. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. Elaine is pissed because I wasn’t couple-y enough around her either saturday night or sunday day at the beach. I didn’t answer, and told Maya things were a little more complicated than she knew, which is true. Actually, saturday night I was with her the whole time, so I’m not sure that that was the problem. Though Elaine did ask me 2 or 3 times on sunday if I had a good time saturday night, which I did notice at the time. So…..I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I feel like things kinda got turned upside down, without anyone telling me. I can’t lose Sophia and Elaine at the same time. That would leave me lonely beyond belief. I don’t want to lose either of them, but I’m not sure how I can meet my ideals at the same time. I’m here for 2 more months to the day, and I don’t feel like spending them as a solitary creature, a hermit in my apartment. Now would be a great time to have other friends to rely on, but they have proven to be worthless in that regard time and time again. I think the hill is over, and I can see the valley rushing up to greet me. And to make things more stressful, thesis situation has become very very busy and disasterous. I need something right now, and I don’t know what.