Reminiscing

As I may have mentioned before, I started writing on OD when I was in high school. Tonight I went back and starting reading my old entries, covering January-May of 01, when I was a senior in high school. To be quite honest, I was astonished at the level of writing. Nothing i’ve written in this new OD journal can compare to my entries from back then. Poetic and sharp, alliterative and informative, but more than anything, emotional. I’m writing from the heart, spilling out my world, to the world outside. It’s just amazing to read them now. I can remember all the stuff I wrote about, and how I felt during those times. And I had some really crazy hectic moments that year. It was perhaps my most influential year of life. I remember I would just sit in the old orange chair in my room, on my crappy old computer, and the words would just flow out of me. It was a ritual, a stress release, a way of brainstorming. It felt safe, it felt positive, it made me feel strong. I would love to be able to get to that level of craft. My writing these days has become mechanical and formulaic. Then it was splashed on the page with vigor and unrelenting energy. I don’t know what changed, other than me getting older. It’s funny, cuz the issues I talk about now (relationships, school, moving, friends) are really the same as what i wrote about then. I just wrote in very different tones. I wrote a lot about my philosophies towards life. I wrote poems. I wrote rants. I was infinitely more creative and artistic. I need to recapture that. The ability to write your hearts’ desires is good for the soul.