yay orgasms!

i had a really good sexual experience today. so stop reading if you don’t wanna read about it.

in about the 6 years i’ve been sexually active, i’ve never ever been able to orgasm with a partner (only through masturbating) and not for lack of their trying/patience/etc. not even with oral sex, manual stimulation or anything else. obviously this has been a huge source of frustration in my relationships as the guy feels inadequate, i feel guilty, etc. i had pretty much chalked it up to a psychological thing and was feeling semi-hopeless.

the number one problem is that when i masturbate, i can only come one way, on my side, doing the exact same thing with the exact same motion every time and it was just too hard for anyone else to replicate. about a year ago i learned to come lying on my back but it still had to be the same exact motion, angle, etc. anyway, today for some random reason, i was suddenly able to orgasm on my back using a totally different method and i think *maybe* i may have discovered what i need to do to be able to come in different positions. so i think that with a bit more practice, i might be able to orgasm in different ways and eventually be able to have an orgasm through sex! anyway, after struggling with this for 5+ years, this is really exciting to me… i need to go find someone to practice with 😉

on a side note, i think i really want to open my own restaurant someday, an upscale healthy eating one. i really do. i want to start changing people’s attitudes about food, mainly educating them about what is actually "healthy" (most people really have no idea) and then showing that delicious food doesn’t have to be fat and calorie-laden. i’ve already developed a few of my own awesome (according to *my* palate) recipes, so i might as well get paid for them someday.