the clock is ticking…

What I will refer to as the "valentine’s countown" has officially begun. what i mean is that no one wants to be alone on valentine’s day. even the people that don’t want a relationship want at least a date on valentine’s or at least a date offer that they can reject. so everyone is scrambling to figure out who they have a chance with before it’s too late. standards are lowered. all locations involving even the most remote chance of a hookup reek of desperation.

unfortunately i am not immune to this. i feel like sex is a basic human need and i haven’t had sex in almost three years because, quite frankly, i have rejected a shitload of sex in the last few years. i have done other things but still, i miss actual sex. right now i really just want someone to take home and make out with and cuddle the night through with and it’s just not happening, which is very frustrating. the main problem is that i’m too picky and i rarely find someone i like enough to want to even make out with. i have very high standards. the second problem is that i have great gaydar, i just don’t know it. because when i do find someone i like and make a move, he turns out to be gay way too often. i can never tell… but i always seem to pick out the gay guys. as friends have said, it’s because gay men tend to take care of themselves better and put more effort into their appearance. any straight man reading this should take to heart that simply showering and putting on a clean-ish t-shirt is not enough.

anyway, this is mostly frustrating because it’s occupying way too much of my mental space right now. when i’m getting some, i don’t think about it that much and i can devote my thoughts to other things. i want to think about other things, damnit!

anyway, good luck with the valentine’s countdown to all.