bicycle of thought

With the sun out, I’ve been going on bicycle rides to try and get back into shape. The first day I did this, it was embarrassing. I think I got winded and dizzy on a ride that couldn’t have been more than 3 miles and 3 back home.

Today I tried an exercise. I watched the world. When I found something bothering me, I tried to ask or find out what that could be teaching me, instead of getting pissed off about it. I tried to clear my mind of anger and resentment and tried to look and listen to what the world was trying to tell me. I’m so tired of wracking my brain on looking for a new job, I needed to give my mind a break somehow, even though hunger and lack of money turning to debt turns into a larger shadow over me.

There are so many “new” neighborhoods built in this area I navigated around. There were densely packed apartment complexes where I remembered a strip mall or a supermarket. I kept looking for something I couldn’t find: lots of foreclosed/ empty/ abandoned looking houses.

Not only that, I saw what I never really paid attention to before, that a lot of people had motor homes, RV’s wrapped up in side yards and other recreational vehicles like motorcycles, jet skis and “project cars,” collecting dust and grass growing underneath. I was actually jealous of the motor homes and thought about which one I’d want to go cross country with. This area has no idea what recession is happening around the country it’s proving to me.

I see all the things people put in their font yards: awnings, plants, projects, crap, all kinds of mixed odds and ends, kids bicycles, play houses, wagons. Whenever I cruise a neighborhood, I always start thinking of all the cool things I could collect one night if I had a truck. I swear, I’m not a natural thief, but if I had a house I would NEVER leave some of the stuff I see out front, because I know someone would steal it!

And then I see open garages. I see all the crap piled into garages, so you can’t even fit a motorcycle into it. Some people even have racks of shelves so a 2 car garage is DENSELY packed with crap to the ceiling. All my crap filled 2/3 of a 1 car carport and the boxes at their highest got to 5’. I got to use the carport at a place I stayed because it was on the far end of the complex opposite of where our living unit was. So this made me feel not so much like a hoarder because that’s not only the garage I saw, these people have back and side yards and at least 3 bedrooms, and all kinds of space to hoard crap. I admit for me, I can pare all my stuff down to a ¼ to what I need and use at least once every year. There are a lot of different ways to sell things, but with no transpo to move anything and no “startup money,” I have to keep trying with Craig list until I hit a windfall enough to start the “next level” on eBay. I need money for posting fees until things sell.

I also hear how noisy people are, all the way out to the front of their property. I’ve had my share of loud neighbors, I can tell you all about the information they volunteer. Now, home to me is a place to recharge, unless it was back in the day and I wanted to have a party. Home now is my quiet place, away from the noise of others in a restaurant, the theater, the line, at work, other customers, etc. I see so many people in the news getting a bad rap because they were so “quiet, he kept to himself.” Every time I hear that I think one thing, that must be the LOUD neighbor, the one that has to gossip about everyone. Sure that’s why the news is talking to them. But as their neighbor, you know they’re the ones to meddle and create disturbances, of COURSE I’m quiet in comparison. I don’t have 5 kids and 2 dogs and have to yell about where everyone is every 5 minutes as you let them run off into traffic and parts unknown.

I decided to drive about 10 miles away, to an interesting destination. Now it’s a small local burger chain. When I was in high school, it was a burger bar my friend worked at. I don’t think I spent much time there, but to a few people from high school, the old business here was their second home. I treated myself to a mushroom swiss burger and had the first soda I had in months. I may yelp about it. On the way home, I looked at books in a Goodwill and somehow, like in the movies, the ride home went a lot quicker for some reason. I made a breakthru and was able to break from my stop lights faster and without getting winded. I think my body is out of the Bill Murray in the first 20 minutes of Stripes and getting limber again. My face even got a little red in the sun. We’ll see how I keep the momentum going the next bike ride.With the sun out, I’ve been going on bicycle rides to try and get back into shape. The first day I did this, it was embarrassing. I think I got winded and dizzy on a ride that couldn’t have been more than 3 miles and 3 back home.

Today I tried an exercise. I watched the world. When I found something bothering me, I tried to ask or find out what that could be teaching me, instead of getting pissed off about it. I tried to clear my mind of anger and resentment and tried to look and listen to what the world was trying to tell me. I’m so tired of wracking my brain on looking for a new job, I needed to give my mind a break somehow, even though hunger and lack of money turning to debt turns into a larger shadow over me.

There are so many “new” neighborhoods built in this area I navigated around. There were densely packed apartment complexes where I remembered a strip mall or a supermarket. I kept looking for something I couldn’t find: lots of foreclosed/ empty/ abandoned looking houses.

Not only that, I saw what I never really paid attention to before, that a lot of people had motor homes, RV’s wrapped up in side yards and other recreational vehicles like motorcycles, jet skis and “project cars,” collecting dust and grass growing underneath. I was actually jealous of the motor homes and thought about which one I’d want to go cross country with. This area has no idea what recession is happening around the country it’s proving to me.

I see all the things people put in their font yards: awnings, plants, projects, crap, all kinds of mixed odds and ends, kids bicycles, play houses, wagons. Whenever I cruise a neighborhood, I always start thinking of all the cool things I could collect one night if I had a truck. I swear, I’m not a natural thief, but if I had a house I would NEVER leave some of the stuff I see out front, because I know someone would steal it!

And then I see open garages. I see all the crap piled into garages, so you can’t even fit a motorcycle into it. Some people even have racks of shelves so a 2 car garage is DENSELY packed with crap to the ceiling. All my crap filled 2/3 of a 1 car carport and the boxes at their highest got to 5’. I got to use the carport at a place I stayed because it was on the far end of the complex opposite of where our living unit was. So this made me feel not so much like a hoarder because that’s not only the garage I saw, these people ha

ve back and side yards and at least 3 bedrooms, and all kinds of space to hoard crap. I admit for me, I can pare all my stuff down to a ¼ to what I need and use at least once every year. There are a lot of different ways to sell things, but with no transpo to move anything and no “startup money,” I have to keep trying with Craig list until I hit a windfall enough to start the “next level” on eBay. I need money for posting fees until things sell.

I also hear how noisy people are, all the way out to the front of their property. I’ve had my share of loud neighbors, I can tell you all about the information they volunteer. Now, home to me is a place to recharge, unless it was back in the day and I wanted to have a party. Home now is my quiet place, away from the noise of others in a restaurant, the theater, the line, at work, other customers, etc. I see so many people in the news getting a bad rap because they were so “quiet, he kept to himself.” Every time I hear that I think one thing, that must be the LOUD neighbor, the one that has to gossip about everyone. Sure that’s why the news is talking to them. But as their neighbor, you know they’re the ones to meddle and create disturbances, of COURSE I’m quiet in comparison. I don’t have 5 kids and 2 dogs and have to yell about where everyone is every 5 minutes as you let them run off into traffic and parts unknown.

I decided to drive about 10 miles away, to an interesting destination. Now it’s a small local burger chain. When I was in high school, it was a burger bar my friend worked at. I don’t think I spent much time there, but to a few people from high school, the old business here was their second home. I treated myself to a mushroom swiss burger and had the first soda I had in months. I may yelp about it. On the way home, I looked at books in a Goodwill and somehow, like in the movies, the ride home went a lot quicker for some reason. I made a breakthru and was able to break from my stop lights faster and without getting winded. I think my body is out of the Bill Murray in the first 20 minutes of Stripes and getting limber again. My face even got a little red in the sun. We’ll see how I keep the momentum going the next bike ride.