Song I heard…..

I heard this song called “Never Alone” by Barlow Girls. It’s a Christian band, I believe they are sisters. And they have amazing voices. I heard this particular song while living in Kentucky, one of the most lonely times of my life, and it spoke volumes to me. Was to the point of tears… here’s the lyrics:

I waited for you today

But you didn’t show

No no no

I needed You today

So where did you go?

You told me to call

Said You’d be there

And though I haven’t seen You

Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply

And I can’t feel You by my side

So I’ll hold tight to what I know

You’re here, and I’m never alone

And though I cannot see You

And I can’t explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance

You’ve placed in my life

We cannot separate

’cause You’re part of me

And though You’re invisible

I’ll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply

And I can’t feel You by my side

So I’ll hold tight to what I know

You’re here and I’m never alone.

My faith and my beliefs may not be on the right track, and I may be confused, but despite all that, I’m not alone. God hasn’t turned His back on me, and He never will. I need to not turn my back on God…

Anyways, Poulas called me this morning wondering when mom was going to get to Kentucky. I told him he should just drive down and surprise her. I hope he decides to. I know they are both anxious to see each other. I really wish I could be there. I hate being so far away… life just isn’t the same without him. Alot has changed since he’s left. Part of me feels like it’s missing. I wish this were easier. At least he’s not totally, completely out of my life. He calls me, so that’s a good sign. It’s nice to hear when he tells me he misses me though. I know it’s not easy for him either. I just wish I knew what to do..

Anyways, work has been crazy here. I’m glad it’s the weekend. Time for a break 🙂 Even though there’s nothing to do and nobody to hang out with. I think I’m destined to be a loner. Really. I don’t mind being alone anymore, but I do like having people around. It’s hard to connect to people though, at least for me. I tend to be shy at first, and then after awhile I open up. I’ve been hurt so much in the past that I have a hard time trusting people, especially women. I’ve just given up on men!! lol!! No, but seriously, it’s hard for me to make friends, and the ones I have aren’t necessarily the best influences for me… not all of them, but a couple of them. I’ve given so much of my life to Poulas that now that he’s gone I’m not sure how to function without him. I can pretend I’m fine for only so long. I’m not fine. I don’t have many desires to do anything. All’s I want to do is go see him. My mom is there right now, and I’m glad that someone can at least check up on him, but I wish it were me. UGH!! Which things weren’t so confusing and jumbled up!!

Anyways, I’m going to go. Figured I’d get an update in though!! It’s been a bit!!

Alissa