Doing fine

I’m doing fine today. No crying. I was really lonely last night, but what can ya do? I missed Poulas. I called him around 11:30 and he said Vetas had just gotten there. Thank God. At least he wasn’t alone last night. I’m going up there on my lunch break. Going to check on Charlie, and meet Vetas for the first time. LOL… that’s strange. Known Poulas for more than 2 years and have never met his family. Shoot, I didn’t meet Charlie until July 4th of this year. Kinda crazy if ya ask me!! I’m thankful I had the opportunity to meet Charlie, and Poulas… and now I get to meet the rest of the family… maybe even his mom!! 🙂

The Doctor’s are treating me like I’m part of the family. I’m glad for that. I think Poulas talked to them or something. Maybe he didn’t, I don’t know. My main concern is Poulas… and Charlie… and I suppose me. Yesterday, I wasn’t my main concern… obviously, if I didn’t care that I got sent home from work. Oh well. I’m going today and planning on being there the whole day, unless something happens and Poulas wants me there. So, I am just going up on my lunch break and then after work. I brought some clothes to change into so I’m not all dressed up and everyone’s wearing Jeans and t-shirts. So, I’ll just wear my dress pants and I grabbed a T-shirt. So, I’m prepared. I’ll probably be at the hospital until 10p or so.. or whenever Poulas kicks me out again.

Anyways, just wanted to get a quick update in. I pray today goes quick at work. I don’t really want to be there, but I know I need to be there. If only for my sanity…

Alissa

*ScarS*

November 8, 2005

OKILY! So something tells me, you need to update! Whats with all the sadness and pessimism girl..? Reality check, one of those days/weeks, an end of the tether with a certain someone? Sometimes I think the more you fight, the more stamina you lose in other aspects of your life.. And can I be so bold as to say, you are fighting for him? Well.. Always fighting for something you may never have?

November 9, 2005

Im glad to hear things have cleared up for u.. U know the saying, ‘when it rains, it pours’, and I think that was ur down period.. But with every rain there is a cloud and with ur cloud the light is shining thru. Its hard when u take care of others, regardless of how much or how little, its like u go thru every feeling or step with them and u just feel extra pressure, coz ur helpless and its hard.

Im glad to hear things r better 4 u tho, and I hope Poulas is doing ok 2. But, ur his support, so Im sure he’s well! 🙂 As 4 me, u def do help and give me an internal strength very few do, but I think Im in a place right now where Im the only person that can help me and it sometimes makes it 10x harder! But Im cutting this cynical, lonely behaviour so everything is all good! & if not, it will b!

November 13, 2005

If you do get the chance, please read *4*A.. It was written to you.. ~T