Second Thoughts?

Winter Formal is a few days away. People around here are going a little nutty about it. Pretty much anyone’s talking about at school. So many things to do and stuff to buy still. For others anyways. I’m not going this year.

I could have gone with Ryne. He was the 1st person I was gonna ask (not including Pete and I’ll explain why). He managed to get and lose 5 dates. If we did go, we’d have fun together. I know he wanted to go and I felt bad for not asking him knowing this but I was slighty happy I wasn’t going this time around.

Part of me wanted to go again b/c last year was so much fun (well, until I saw the pix I was in afterwards). A big factor in that one was that EVERYONE went. Crystal, Priscilla, Michelle, Mindy, Dan, Jenn, Amanda, Ryne, Leslie, Melanie, David Z, Melissa, Craig David, Tiffany and possibly Sean. Need I go on?!

Ever since BOA, I really thought about asking Pete. It’d be so cool if we could go together. Come January, time to ask him…I decided that he probably doesn’t even like dances, so why would he wanna go to Formal?! Take Homecoming for example. I really wanted to ask him to dance that night. But him and his “alto posse” sat at a table towards the wall, in the dark and played cards (I believe). Granted, yes, he coulda been shy about dancing, but it’s much easier to ‘bump’ into s/o on the dance floor and ask them to then going over to his table with all his friends staring at you like “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” 2nd: Why would I think he’d even say yes if I did ask him. Sean swears he would but I didn’t trust him 100% on that (part of me thought he was only telling me what I wanted to hear) so I didn’t…

Of course, I find out after the bell has already rung on the last day to buy tickets that he indeed, wanted to go but no one had asked him!!! I totally had a chance! I coulda kicked myself for this one. And, I, like usual, blew it! And seeing him all dressed up in a tux for the band concert made me wish I asked him even more. He was sooooo adorable!

Part of the reason I was sorta “relieved” to not be going was that I don’t have to worry about trying to look halfway decent dressed up. People like me aren’t so lucky with occasions such as this. I mean, to put so much work into looking nice and still looking bad…and just feeling like a joke and uncomfortable for a lot of the night seeing everyone else looking so much better than you… yeah…now that’s what I call fun. Yeah I did have fun with my friends but in the other aspects of the night…

So maybe it’s better that I’m not going to Formal. I mean, there’s always Prom. I know I’ve said this somewhere before, but maybe things with Pete will have happened by then…and we’ll end up going together.

Prom is in May…that leaves 3 months…a lot could happen in 3 months…or if I keep procrastinating for the next 3 months, absolutely nothing will happen. Nothing is BAD! Oh boy…now I’m gonna lie awake in bed contemplating ideas instead of trying to fall asleep like I know I should.

I must Flee!