My sincere best wishes

I had a midterm on Tuesday, so on Monday night while studying I logged onto facebook.  I saw D’s cousin had tagged his other cousin that I am facebook friends with in a lot of pictures.  Namely, D’s engagement pictures.  I saw him proposing to her on his knee.  Saw the families.  The whole bit.  A couple of hours later, the albumn was made private and I can no longer see the pictures.  Just as well. 

Ever since things ended the way they did between D and I, I somehow always thought or hoped that once enough time has passed, maybe a year or two, and all emotions have subsided, then D and I would speak once more and say a proper goodbye.  A nice one where we both acknowledge the role each other played in our formative years.  Where we ultimately admit that we are both responsible for our relationship ending the way it did and then realize that it is for the best as our life goals were not compatible with each others.  I imagined a conversation at the end of which the pain, hurt and drama produced by the last six months of our relationships gets overshadowed by the remaining happy 8 years of it. 

When I learned that he was engaged, I realized that we will never have such a conversation.  And more than anything else, I think that is what bothered me the most. For a while, I even thought about contacting him or maybe his sister, but then I hesitated.

I know that D sometimes read this diary.  I don’t know if he still does anymore, but well if he does read this then I would like to say the following:

Thank you for sharing the last 8 years of my life with me.    Thank you for the meals we shared, the movies we watched and the songs we sang.  Thank you for the thoughts we shared, the laughter and the pain.  Thank you also for everything that you did for me in terms of being emotional support and a good listener.  Thank you for everything that you gave me, including all of the DVDs of movies which I still have and watch 🙂  .  Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to get to know your family. 

I would like for you to know that I do forgive you for everything and I will think of you and remember all of the happy times we shared together.  I am sorry that things ended the way they did, but I do believe that it was God’s will and the right thing for both of us as far as our long term goals are concerned.  I would like for you to know that despite everything, you will hold a special place in my heart and that I pray for your and your fiance’s happiness.  May God bless you with all the things you dream of and may all your wishes come true.