re-entry

my breathing begins to slow, one more, a last deep, struggling inhail of the air thats drowning me.

the most beautiful angel in all of heaven shines before me with open arms and such a warm smile. I gently fall into her grasp, wrapping her soft wings around me, an aching sigh of relief and my last breath seeps from my lips. I feel my lungs tighten, squeezing my chest and in my ears all I hear is the sweet songs of her voice. my heart pounding harder, quickening for a few heavy fast beats then slowing to one last violent pump to push (her one last time through my veins) the blood through every inch of my shrinking veins. my mind still racing yet suffocating inside my skull, thinking of her I can’t let go. sending shocks of messages to my limbs, my nervous system shakes and my arms clutch onto her so tightly, pulling our bodies close, feeling her in my arms, in my deathly love embrace….

when I’ve said to you that I love you theres so much more behind those words. every emotion humanly possible to feel, ever ounce of my energy, every thought in my head of us together, hearing you say it back to me. the joy of seeing your cute, gorgeous face, watching you move or laugh and smile. holding you so close that our bodies are one and never wanting to let go. looking into your eyes before we fall asleep together, then opening them in the morning to see you laying there next to me. how you always ask for something to drink when you first wake up. when you used to crawl into bed with me in the early mornings, your cute nose, the sound of your voice singing, it plays over and over in my head. how your eyes seem to glow when you stare at me.

I wounder what I look like to you when you stare? I wounder if you can see into my eyes, see deep down inside me. I wish I could see through your eyes….