[[p]] a few.

starved

last night i had a hunger
that not even chocolate could fill
a hunger that was deeper than my stomach
and more intense then my need for food.

i had a hunger
that filled my eyes with tears
that drained my heart of blood
that squeezed my lungs dry of air.

it tore through me like an orgasm
ripped me open like you used to
and left me naked, alone and empty
like the morning i woke up to find you
not next to me –
but on the couch
with your precious need
your precious want
your precious gift of forgetting me.

last night i had a hunger
that needed to be filled
but i went to sleep hungry.

no longer yours.

nights wrapped up in summer heat
unravel before my eyes,
and i blame winter for coming so soon.

days that were spent inside our tomb
are set free without my notice,
and i blame myself for not paying attention.

bodies that clutched and held on forever
torn apart as smoke fills the room,
and i blame the window because it’s not open.

words that always found a way to each other
get lost in the air like carbon dioxide,
and i blame myself for not speaking louder.

the winter chill,
this opened tomb,
this smoke-filled room,
these lost and empty words,
have led me to my truth.
i am no longer yours.

when summer comes i’ll shed my skin
and find a new one to get wrapped up in.
i will close the door to this broken tomb
and refuse to climb back in.
i will open the window to clear the smoke
and breathe fresh air for a lifetime.
i will scream my words loud enough
so that there is no mistaking them.
and i will know my truth.
i am no longer yours.