Ready To Move

Life has been busy, and in a good way. Even with all that is going on, I have had minimal meltdowns And I have had many realizations, but more on that later.

I have spent the day with my husband and I love that. The four of us are at the studio together. It’s an early night (over at 8:30!) so we decided to stay at keep daddy company. Salem is coloring, and Ian is snoring next to me in his car seat. Scott is working on a guitar that is a complete custom build. I don’t know how much he is making on it, but he is making cosmetic changes to it called relicing and dirty punk, as well as functionality change. He out a watch in the headstock! I am really proud of him when he gets stuff like that done. Anyway, I rambled to the point of saying I have the perfect opportunity to write at the moment, so I am going to.

Justin and Destiny got here Wednesday. instead of Saturday as planned. Justin’s grandmother is on hospice at the moment and they were afraid she wouldn’t make it until Saturday to say goodbye, so they changed their flight plans. Thursday morning they were told she wouldn’t make it thought the night. She’s still with us today. It’s hard to say whether that is a good thing or bad thing. She did get to meet both of her great grand daughters and that is a blessing!

Thursday afternoon they came over to the house and Ian met his wife to be, Lucy. It was adorable immediately. He was trying to jump from my arms to Destiny’s to be with her. He seriously could not keep his hands to himself, and kept giving her kisses. We walked with the babies in strollers to Salem’s school to pick her up. She had no idea they were coming and when she saw them it was such a special moment! We met Scott at the studio and then went and had Dinner at In N Out. For anyone who has been to California or is from here, you know that to us, this place is the Holy Grail of burgers. From there we said goodnight and they went back to Justin’s parent’s house.

Friday night we drove to them and had dinner with his parents and then played a game of Phase 10. With two babies, it took a lot longer than it used to and we ended up not even finishing the game. And instead of the cocktails we used to drink while playing, we ate Oreo Cookies and drank milk. Classic!

Sunday was our anniversary, but we decided to join them at Disneyland for a few hours because we love them, and honestly I wouldn’t have been willing to leave Ian for too long of a period anyway. It was a good time and a little challenging again because of the 2 babies, but I wish we could do it every weekend! We’ll be seeing them again tomorrow for a full day of Disneyland, and both Thursday and Friday for dinner.

As far as our anniversary went, we had fun. We went to a late dinner at 9 to Red Robin while my mom watched the kids. We had one drink each and enjoyed a quiet restaurant on a Sunday night and an interruption free meal where we talked only about us. At dinner my brother called me and asked where Ian’s teething tablets were and I could hear him screaming in the background. It rattled me but I was determined to have time alone so I stuffed my anxiety away. At Disneyland I whispered in his ear that I would like to park and have sex in the car later like we used to. That didn’t happen because we are much older now and scaredy cats. He suggested we just go home and lock ourselves in our room, but I told him that would never happen and who knows what would happen after we got kids to bed. So while we were driving around looking for some place we could park, he remembered that we had access to the studio, so we went there and took advantage. Not a romantic setting, but it was adventurous and just us and that was all that was really important. It was special in my book. I got him the new barbecue and he got me a Nook Tablet! Finally I can read in the dark while he is still sleeping! That is what I am most excited about.

I was asked about Church, and we haven’t exactly found anywhere to go. When Scott and my youngest brother got into it, we decided we were just going to go back to our old church since they were the main reason we left in the first place, but when we returned to visit, it just felt different. We returned 2 weeks later to have Ian dedicated and I felt like we were on display. That was before Thanksgiving, and last Sunday was the first time we have attended church since. Shortly after Ian’s dedication, my PPD was at it’s peak and my anxiety was just too much to handle. I really wanted to be at church, but couldn’t make myself go. Scott respected it and waited for me to be ready to go. We went to a pretty large church that our Youth Pastor’s wife at the old church told us not to go to because her parents go there and it was a terrible church. But over the last few months we have ran into more and more people who go there and urged us to go. We felt like God was saying go. And we loved it! We all did. Salem has been begging to go back to our church and told us that she likes this one better. The Pastor is battling Leukemia right now, so they have different guest speakers, but we can’t help but feel like it is perfect timing for us to come in. We are really excited about it and are about 90% sure we will be calling it home.

But for how long is the question? As hard as my PPD is on me, as much as I struggle everyday to be normal, I have also learned a lot from it, and feel like there is blessing that comes with it. I truly that God works all things into good for those who love him, and even this disease is one of those things. I have realized what is most important to me, what I can’t stand to have in my life, and how to do without. And right now I am desperate to move to Nashville. Not necessarily to be with Justin and Destiny, but because we agreed we couldn’t go anywhere where we had no one, and there is so much opportunity for Scott there with Nashville being Music City and all. So we have started applying at places for Scott, and have agreed that making this move would mean my job would be our kids. We just can’t afford that here We have both become a little preoccupied with it and it’s our goal. We want it bad, so please say a prayer for us? I am ready to move, I want a BIG change.