What is Normal?

I feel pretty distorted at the moment, but I am determined to write because I have things to update on.

First of all I finally heard from the PPD program nurse and made an appointment for my intake interview. Initially she scheduled it for this coming Tuesday, and then called me back almost immediately and changed it to the following Monday. I wish it wasn’t so far off, but I feel great knowing that it’s in the works.

FYI, Ian is sitting up on my lap as I write this. Yes, sitting up. Not leaning against me, but literally sitting up. Not completely straight, but he’s working on it. I am baffled that my not even 4 month old baby has almost mastered this art. He is so strong.

Yesterday when the mail arrived, I received a certified letter informing me that my position was eliminated. Yay! I’m not upset about it. I realize I can’t stay on unemployment forever, but it gives me more time to get my head together, and to be with my babies. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders as I was reading the letter.

The situation at the studio for Scott is a pretty uncomfortable one. Things definitely will never be the same. So, he is definitely searching for a new job, but will not leave until he finds one. Thankfully the situation was resolved enough that Scott doesn’t have to worry that his boss will get rid of him before that time.

My husband bought me an iPhone today. I’m happy about that. Very happy.

We went out today and had lunch together while Salem was at school and talked about only positive things. It was pretty therapeutic for both of us. I almost felt normal for an hour.

I did some household shopping with Salem and Ian this evening. Salem was good company, but I have to share that I no longer go shopping alone anymore if I can help it. I get very overwhelmed and panicky. It’s like I’m suffocating. I almost made it out before the feeling kicked in, but trying to decide which super glue to get Scott sent me over the edge.

Oh to have control over myself again……