Well Hello there, Fancy seeing you here!

Well Hi all, Its been to to long,

Hope everyone is well and fighting fit. Me I the same old, still the lonely old girl I’ve always been.

Live has been very interesting this year to say the least, it has had it UPs and DOWNs, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I always seem to come back to here when life is getting to much. I think writing everything down is a way to get it out and start to feel normal again. It also stops me from going very crazy.

This year I lost 3 great friends in my life, they all passed away, 2 from cancer and 1 cause he was just old. My Uncle was the 1st to pass away form Lung Cancer he was an very fit and healthy man, who never smoked but go it anyway. The family is coping well now but early it was just so hard, we saw him maybe 1 week before he died and it was so hard, he just wasn’t the same man anymore, but it was nice to be able to say goodbye.

My dance teacher’s husband was the 2nd person I lost this year, he had be battling liver cancer for 8 years, and it just got him in the end. It was again so hard, I didn’t really get to see him just before he died and I was told I wouldn’t of recognised him anyway. I think I am glad with the memory I have of him in my head instead of someone that I wouldn’t of known.

Both funerals were lovely and a great way of remembering each one in their own way.

2 weeks ago I lost a great friend he was with me by my side for 16 years, through everything I have been through, never judged me. It was my buddy boy, my faithful dog O’Reily. He was just beautiful but his heart started to fail on him and we made the decision to have him put to sleep because he really was our buddy boy anymore. He is with us now in a little rock that is being put in our garden. This was a very sad day.

Life moves on though. I have been working like crazy, still in the same job, and really happy with it. We have some great staff now, no dramas and crazy girls working there. We are a great team and I love being around them all.

My clients are mostly great, some I really love to help and some that I really wish would just find a job and leave me alone. But you take the good with the bad right.

I have not been well at all this year, I have developed IBS and it really took a toll on me both physically and mentally. I had to start seeing my psychologist again but I think that is a good thing. I am on a crazy diet, we call it the Sunshine and Air diet – Its really name is a low FODMAPS diet but I can’t eat so much food that it’s like living on Sunshine and Air. But it is working and I am getting better day by day.

I took a chance and joined an online dating site for Christians. I have so far talked to 2 guys and meet 1 of them who after meeting me hasn’t talked to me again, I was really upset by this but after discussing it with my psychologist I realised it was not me it was all him. Who goes on a dating website 4 months after losing their wife. I am talking to another guy but I just don’t know. It is so hard, I think he wants to talk but we haven’t exchanged numbers and only talk through the site and maybe a message a day, sometimes 2. I would love to make the next step and maybe see if he is interested in exchanging email address or phone numbers but I am just to scared to suggest it in case he says NO not interested. Being single is easy, trying to find someone is just to hard. I hate all the rules and stuff they say about dating and contacting guys. It sucks. How do you know if they are interested or if they are still just talking to you cause they don’t know a nice way to stop.

Oh well will ponder that some more, but really I am not letting it stress me too much.

Best wishes all

God Bless

KT