at work…

Weird I have never done this before from work! I just don’t have the time here not to mention people are always around and I don’t really want anyone seeing this! It’s taken me about an hour to write what I have written so far so…I guess it really doesn’t work 🙁

I have SO much going on in my life right now (like always) that I just feel like I don’t even have the time to think about it let alone write it down!!! We are looking for a new house and maybe considering having my birth-parents move in with us?!? I mean build an apartment in the basement for them, so that we actually do live separtely with our own entrance and everything separate. Anyway we really have a lot to think about because it would mean a bigger house and a smaller mortgage but I have never lived with anyone before and it’s not like I know them well or anything! I have some weird feelings about it but I don’t really know how to explain them right now…maybe I’m just afraid because it’s all so new to me! There is part of me that likes the distance between us (30 min drive) but on the other hand part of me would LOVE to be close to them because I missed out on having them in my life?! I don’t know, my emotions are up and down all the time it’s hard to explain! I am so used to be independant and living my life without the love of a mother, never consulting my adopted parents about anything and just generally living life without that “parental” influence. I’m sort of torn and my feelings and emotions are still all over the map on any given day 🙁

Oh well I have to go home now…YAY!