Too Much Stress

I guess its getting to me way too much and here I am just wanting a bit of attention of the non negative variety or just not to feel so stupid. 

I understand my emotional states more than a lot of people, I am hyperviginant regarding that and I am cool with it but ugh I need some support and not to feel like I am doing something wrong all the time.  Granted, I feel that somehow I brought all the shit upon myself but logically it doesnt make sense. 

So tonight I am going to the bridge boys and hang out there, maybe feel a bit better with the influx of cards and Guitar Hero 2 or something of the sort.  I dont feel as bad there and that makes me a bit better for the coming weeks ahead.  Concidering my attorney canceled the consultation for the Donnelly Case(tm) I have to wait another week before I can do diddly.  I just hope they dont fire me in the mean time.  I already expect it.

I have been dreaming about cutting and blood and all that again and I dont like it.  Cutting is addictive and I dont need that cycle again.  Either that or drink or become more of a slut.  oi vey.

But next week I am going to visit MS for the weekend and hopefully feel human again for a while.