Wed and Thurs.. Togethers and Doctors

Wednesday’s get together was rather unfruitful, I fell asleep a couple of times during the movies and well with people using my computer to check email and the like I was kind of peeved, as that was not the point of a get together is to check your email while I wonder if I should do that whole, make dinner and drinks bit.  *Shrug*  I would recommend Dane Cook’s "Vicious" for the last 30 minutes on HBO.

Maggot leaves about the 18th of Oct and left back for Ft Stewart this morning.  I burst into tears when we parted.  He is my best friend for the best part of things and in the worst of times.  Many times he slept (as in just sleeping you pervs) with me just to make sure when I had nightmares years ago that I had someone I trusted nearby to hang on to when I woke.  I should know he will be alright but I still worry. I did get new pics of his son, oh how cute he is.  Unfortunately the mother wont let Maggot bring me the kidlet to visit, she still has issues with Maggot taking him to McDonalds.  I never really liked her, so, well I deal with when the kid is over at Maggots house and I can get there.

I got to the Shrink yesterday about 3 hours of tears and making sure I didnt say something that would have landed me in the looney-bin on an involuntary basis.  Yes, my dear children the therapist for the intake wanted me to hospitalize myself so that I can get stabilized again.  But, was my counter, who would take care of my responsibilities?  Hell, hardly anyone I know would even look after my kittens, much less lend me the money to pay rent and bills if such a thing should happen.  Living paycheck to paycheck has distinct disadvantages.
What I think is so bad is that I had not realized how far down I had went.  I need to gt to the CVS and pick up meds, I didnt have the fortitude to do so yesterday afternoon so I am still waiting on relief, however, that takes a couple of weeks and the Dr wants me back in the office in less than 10 days just to check up and make sure I am still alive I guess. 

This has placed a serious damper on my funds, I called mother to let her know I may be borrowing some cash to make it for a while.  $45 for the visit and another $100 in meds, not good for the budget when you barely have that to spend for 2 weeks on other bills and food.

I think I like this Dr, as he wrote a letter to my bosses at work that I must be switched to days, especially for the winter.  His recommendations were based on that I need a social network, have the ability to ‘feel normal’ and engage in light therapy.  Natural light, you know that day star thing that I normally avoid.  Something or other about needing the effects of daylight to boost chemical levels.  That one is beyond me, and research will be forthcoming in my reading.

I mentioned quitting smoking again and got the ‘when you feel better you can try but not at the moment’.  This does in part make me laugh, a Dr telling a person not to quit the cancer sticks.  Strange, but quitting smoking can increase depression levels and add to weight gain on the medicines.

They are going to be doing major readjustments on my medications, trying to deal with more than the psych symptoms and attack some of the physical effects.  So I am back on muscle relaxers and anti anxiety meds.  Add to that anti psychotics and anti depressants.  Joy.  Plus I have a new addition to my diagnosis.  I am really excited cant you tell. (sarcasm)

I keep looking at the house and want to clean but then just wuss out.  Anyone wanna come kick my ass into getting things done and keeping me on task?