Sleep

I had the day off today and spent it alone, as par for the course.

I spent the whole day sleeping as I came home about 11:30pm last night, talked/chatted via IM with a friend then went to bed.  Save for the couple of hours after waking at 4am and heading over to Waffle House and actually having a Waffle I came back about 6am and back to sleep.  I just woke again about 30 minutes or so ago.

A friend told me a Waffle is happiness, it was in his honor that I actually ate it.  Honestly I dont feel better.  At least the waterworks have calmed a bit. 

Part of what brough this about since I felt so horrific is that the person I was sopposed to have seen last week and I tried to explain how I felt, how hurt I was was not so consoling.  He was an asshole really telling me I didnt compromise enough that I havent done jack squat right.  Yeah, thanks.  I looked at my LiveJournal and he is on my friends list and well he has a chick he shall ‘soon be enamoured with’.  Move on fast dont ya buddy?  This only reenforces how I have felt the ‘good enough till something prettier, etc etc etc comes along’.  Shoot me now.

So, now that I have slept I dont know what I want to do.  Part of me is still screaming to go back to bed and lose myself in dreams.  Hell I dont remember them today its a strange blessing there.  I feel tired and ache some, probably too much sleep.  Should eat but I dont feel like cooking, should clean but I am too apathetic to start and really what else is there?  Social contact is a no no, I would try to bring something home and well that is not good either, besides who wants a fat, depressed chick?

I dont know what is up anymore.  I just dont want to deal.