Let them go

Dear diary

I finally passed my probation. I don’t know why I suddenly feel so sad when I know that I have passed my probation. I should feel happy in fact but I just feel a tinge of sadness at that moment, oh what’s coming into me? I think because it sort of "ends" my link with them. This time I must really let them go…though I feel I still can’t. I also don’t know what’s up with me, but I really really miss them  so much, yet I can’t let them know, I can’t let them know, I must keep it a secret always. Maybe I shouldn’t force myself so much to forget all about them, but maybe I should just make myself forget everything like having amenisia, the people that I love….should go….Now it’s time. I am trying hard to convince myself, I am trying hard to convince my heart. I still miss them…I still love them like before… Why can’t I just lie to myself?

falling snow