Entry 396

Things were working on here for a day and now it’s taking 5+ mins just to load anything and may need a few tries. So frustrating.

 

I guess this may turn into a lengthy post because I feel like writing from having gone through my emails. I was in hopes of recovering some photos of people from throughout the years but in the process of looking for them, it meant having to go through years of other stuff. The inbox may have been cleared, but there was still the sent messages, which I hadn’t gone through in so long.

There was some email threads with people I don’t remember at all. There were some threads with people I still remember but don’t talk to anymore. It was all a bit moving, because of how many and how long these emails may have been. Seems like no one really does emails these days or want to spend the time to write anything out.

In my English class, we discussed how people don’t really read as they did over 10 years ago. It’s more like a skimming method, because we are so adapt at quick, short responses. Like a text, FB post, Twitter post,, etc. Think about those people that have long entries on here or FB and realize how you don’t really read them, as much as skim them.

If this was read up to this point, I’d be surprised.

But back to my inboxes. It’s baffling to think how many people we "go through" in a year, let alone a decade. I would bet everyone has an amount of people they’ve encountered in chat rooms, on here, on myspace, on any blogging site, etc and lost connection with them. It sucks, because so many of those people know us all too well and when they’re gone, it’s like having to start all anew.

It’s not so much the starting over that sucks, but, wishing you still had those bonds. Keeping someone in our lives for years feels like it is overly impossible, whether you know them in person or only online. I’ve been asked, why do I still talk to my exgf from Minnesota and there are several reasons. She’s known me since 2005 and so she knows me pretty well. She’s someone I know I can message and chat with for a bit, unlike other people who protest it’s stupid to remain friends and just talk to them…. they don’t really hold up that end.

I look at the recent 2 years of people and it’s sad to think what I had with them and now there is nothing. Amber was a girl I used to hang out with, almost every week. Used to go out for Chinese a lot and talk quite a bit, but once I got a girlfriend, she drifted off, saying she didn’t want to be a cause of trouble. We broke up, but I never hear from her. It was like the moment I got a relationship, anything we had went away. I used to talk to my ex, Lisa, who was also the girl watching Melz for a while. We exchanged long messages about what happened over the years and it was fine. Randomly, she deleted me from FB and when I asked what did I do. The answer was that her husband felt that it was the Christian way for females to have female friends and males to have male friends. Despite how stupid I thought that was, it didn’t matter.

Was friends with a girl named Rae. She was a bit off, since she was the type to hate on something or a fandom then a month later, be a huge fan of it, but whatever. We met a few times, before it turned into a sexual thing. After a while, she got annoyed that I was questioning her views and was gone. Hadn’t heard from her since. Reminds me that I was also briefly associated with a lunatic, that was spazzing because people would stare at her dressed in full blown bright blue gothic lolita clothes. I wish I could put into full words how crazy that girl was.

Made associates in my English class but once semester was done, so were the connections. That was my fave class too, as everyone in there were able to socialize with each other. I guess it was one of those things where it was only for a limited time.

From FB, I had a friend named Jay that I ended up having an interest in to date. She came to visit and it became a mess as it was her first time away from family. She couldn’t stand it and said she was paranoid that anything could happen with then and wanted to be home. She went home and barely made her presence online, before fully disappearing. Her friend said that she put in more time with her family and stopped using the internet because she realized she didn’t want to regret being online all the time instead of being with family.

All these people, I had a decent amount of conversation with them and hung out with or up late to chat, so seeing them disappear or whatever, really sucks.

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One of my favorite anime/manga series is called Genshiken. The story revolves around a college student club that’s into anime/manga/video games, all that type of stuff. The genre would be called "slice of life" because it’s all stuff that can happen in life.

At first, the series plays out fairly chill and amusing as you see the characters gain personality.

What starts to hurt is when it starts hitting near the end of the season when you see the characters graduating and leaving college, thus, their days at the club are then ending. The next season has the club gaining new members but still shows the old ones making an appearance in the club to say hi or hanging out.

I guess I bring this up because it is saddening to see life unfolding in the episodes and despite how it is anime, it still is stuff a person can relate to.

The other day I had lunch with my brother and his girlfriend and were mentioning people that we know and how much they’ve changed. While I’m not completely against it, it’s still saddening to see drastic changes in people’s personalities from the one we liked before.

In this case, several of them were really dorky people and now they are the types to post every day how much they love their significant other. That’s cool and all, but, it’s really annoying. And their personality has changed from being the game lovers to being the boring couple that just sits around and watches TV.

I see my life similar to the anime in that I still am into the nerdy things, meanwhile all the people I know are drifting more and more from it and becoming so boring. The anime fandom is gone, they’d rather sit and watch trendy television shows and their unique qualities become the standard boring social norm.

Maybe that’s another reason why contact drifts with me and these people previously mentioned. They’re all going off and changing into people wanting to have this white picket fence lifestyle, have kids, rewatching Disney movies a billion times and the sight of any horror movie gore being too much for them.

Some of the characters remain fairly nerdy, doing their work life and dorky hobbies, but you see their other friends whom were into all the same things, become more and more distant.

I lost where I was gonna go with this, because my cat keeps jumping on my desk and distracting me. So… yeah..

Guess I’ll leave this here.
 

 

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