UGH OD ur killing me

damnit OD just fucking erased my shit again. this is the second time i tried to write this entry. so ima make this damn entry plain and simple.

V day was actually good. Jill was my Valentine-she got me a card, candy and some earrings that she made. she is a sweet chick. Heidi boo dont be jealous, its simply just a friend thing, not a Love Jones.

work was fun but busy. everyone was in a good mood eating candy and being flirty and silly.

afterwards I hung out at Rubys with Eboni and the crew. we were supposed to go bowling but Matt was late so we ended up just chillen at rubys laughing and drinking. it was actually a lot of fun. i really like these ppl. i was a lil sad that J.P wasnt there. i have this huge crush on HIM to the point where i stare at him and try to get close without touching him. its so weird cause HE is not my type and i so wouldnt date him. i dont know what it is.

got a sweet text from Herman wishing me a happy V day. later when i called him he said he sent it on the low cause he was sure i was on a date. hahahahahaha. me? i had to let him know quickly that i didnt and he seemed kinda relieved. he is doing good though. no talks about me going to visit anytime soon. i missed him while he was away.

HE had sent a text earlier and said HE would call once HE got home from the library. HE called and we had a pleasant talk. said that when HE comes home HE wants to celebrate V day…my airport scene…FINALLY, dinner, movie, hotel. i had to raise my eyebrow to that one cause i was shocked and excited. HE told me HE missed me and loved me. i asked HIM to stop saying that, but HE just kept saying i do, i really do, u know that i love u right? i was hesitant, but HE kept asking until i finally said yes. so yeah i dont know whats going on. but i guess HE is trying??!! i feel very happy lately, cause while HIS feelings arent as strong as mine I know that they are there, i know that i am loved by HIM. i feel that while there has always been love for me, HE is finally simply just falling in love. so i have this extremely warm feeling and a sick feeling all at once. im scared and excited to find out what is around the corner. so patient i will be, but i told HIM i cant wait forever. but damn the change or shall we say transformation is amazing. and i know its a struggle for HIM, i see. what i’m most elated by is that HE is making an effort. HE is stepping out of HIS zone to try to make me happy, and thats all i could ever ask for. thanks baby. i love u too is how i ended our very lovely conversation.

but all in all V day was a good one. it didnt suck.

hahaha HE just sent me a text saying i’m a great kisser. u have no idea how self concious i am about that. its good to know otherwise. smile