Missing my little brother…

   If you havent guessed it yet, that handsome young man is my little brother, he was 29 years old, died of a massive heart attack, he was to young to die, had his whole life in front of him, he was going to Arizona to be with my uncle, and he never made it..

   I realize, i think, that before i can do anything else, concentrate on anything else, I have to let him go, right now, i feel if i dont think about it, then hes still here, he didnt die, if I call my sisters house he will answer the phone, or if i go to my sisters house he will be sitting in the chair he always sits in watching t.v, and we will joke around like we always used too..

   I remember one time, it was later at night, someone said something about a hambone, and i immediately thought of the Tom and Jerry cartoon, and started singing the crambone song, we laughed so hard and he kept singing it, it was so funny, then the next day, he was on the computer, as he usually was, and he came out to me and said "you have to see this" he was all serious, and I thought, what now?! then i came in here and he started playing the crambone song he found on here, it was the same voice as in the cartoon, and we started laughing again..

   Another time, this is when we were younger, we were walking the railroad tracks down town, and along comes a train, we ran and ran, i was scared to death, but, we made it.LOL everyone always walked the tracks, so, it was no big deal…

   Mikey always had a sense of humor, i  dont think he ever took anything seriously, nothing seemed to bother him, except his last months, he always had a smile for you, and if you were in a rotten mood, you just had to be around Mikey a few seconds and that rotton mood was gone, he had you laughing in no time…

   The picture i have on here is the real Mikey, he had changed so much, for the worse, he was moody and just didnt want to do anything but watch t.v, read or play on the computer, It broke my heart to see him that way, I guess thats why i never wanted to go out, because i wanted to be with him and try and cheer him up, but, it never worked, sometimes he would put a smile on his face and joke around, but, it wasnt real, he was just covering up..

   I never realized how much alike we really were, the same things bothered the both of us, like our pant legs had to be over the tongue of the sneakers, one time i saw him bending to fix his and i commented on it, and he said it bothered him, and i was like me to, just little things like that, and the eyebrow lift, i noticed in this picture he did it too, if something annoys me or someone does something stupid i can lift the corner of my eyebrow up, i never knew he could do that.LOL

   I always took pride in the fact that I looked like my brother and dad, my other sister and brother took after my mom, and my older sister was adopted,  and I can see alot of Mikey in Damon (my nephew) he will look like him more and more as he gets older..

   Theres so many things i remember about mikey, how he would jokingly flip me off and when i did it back he got this shocked look on his face.LOL or I would look shocked at him, then kick my foot back and act like i was flipping him off with my middle toe.LOL just stupid things like that, but, i guess they areally arent stupid, not to me..

   Mikey and I were so close, I think thats why I cant let go, im not ready to let go, I know he will live in my heart forever, but, right now thats not good enough, I want my baby brother here, joking around with me.. I miss his voice, his smile and his laughter..

   My brother wasnt allowed to die, he was to young and to strong, and i needed him, I know thats selfish, but, I dont care, thats the way I feel..

 

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