day1

So,

I’m going to attempt to make this into a weight loss/maintenance diary for now. figure this is as good a place as any to put my random musings as I go through this…yet again. And I can do it anonymously, so I can use my real weight and just be as honest as possible.

I hit my all time high about a year ago. I’m 5’4" (and 3/4) and I am currently at 175.4, 36% or so body fat according to my brand spanking new scale.I am now also at the lovely age of 30+ and i am well aware that my metabolism is now significantly slower than it was in my 20s.

This, thankfully, is still lower than my absolute all time high of 178, which I hit almost exactly a year ago. I somehow managed to get myself through exercise and a little bit of food control (well, food journaling really) down to 168.

and then the busy time and stress started. So when I got really busy and stressed out, it became less appealing to stop at the gym on the way home. pretty hilarious when you consider it, because exercising is one of the ways that i vent stress. but the more stressed out i get, the less desire i have to exercise. vicious cycle.

I also stopped tracking what i was eating. I’ve come to realize recently just how critical doing this is.  I know all of the articles I read emphasize how important it is. but for me, it’s not so much about calorie tracking and portion control, because I don’t really record those. it just really does make me hyper aware of what i’m putting into my body. the amount of snacking i do.  it also helps me keep track of what i consume over a period of time. for example. I love milkshakes. chick-fil-a, cold stone, maggie moos, arby’s, potbelly. love them all. and when I go somewhere that serves them, I’ll inevitably get them. But, I had made a rule that was, one milkshake a week. but when I stopped food journaling, it became really difficult to keep track of that. like, did i get one? nah, so i’ll get one today.

lastly, i’m starting to weigh my food agian. anal and somewhat obsessive i think, but I do it to determine what makes a portion size according to the packaging of the food I’m about to put into my body (and it’s not always healthy good for you food)

i noticed that when I come back from grocery shopping, and i have purchased snacks, my instinct is to consume at least a little bit of each. need to figure out how to fix that. either get less snacks (probably the best solution) or get more non-perishable/go stale quickly snacks (for example, this last round: chocolate chip cookies from trader joes, popchips, hummus, seaweed snacks, popcorn seasoning) the only one I haven’t managed to open and consume yet is the popcorn seasoning (probably because I know that’s not going to go bad quickly) and the hummus (cuz I forgot I had it until this morning)

the extra weight sucks. like, in general, i don’t notice it that much. my clothes all still fit relatively okay. but i notice it when I fly. sitting in the airplane chairs is not nearly as comfortable. my busted ankle seems to hurt more.

anyway. i’m just trying to hold myself accountable to someone, even if it is just myself.

goal for tomorrow: resist the urge to snake more (today was filled with cookies and ice cream)
goal for tomorrow: exercise via walk around the neighborhood (though, does apple picking count?)

the goal for today was to go the gym and run and do weights, but instead I wound up walking. The good thing is that during my walk, I really felt like running! but I’m gonna take it slow and just see what happens.