Me three. *Apology Edit*

My ex is still: the mother of my kids, and that makes me happy.

I’m listening to: an audio book on my iPod (On Writing by Stephen King, again) and the waterfall in the lobby below me.

Maybe I should: finish something I start.

I love: late night trips to a movie theater with people whose company I cherish.

My best friend: cried when he asked me to be his best man yesterday. of course I’m honored.

I don’t understand: people who don’t appreciate life and all the little things.

I lost respect for: my mother a long time ago.

The meaning of my screen name is: what Lois Lane calls Clark Kent in most Superman adaptations because that is where he grew up. I may be changing it soon though.

Love is: a gift and a choice.

Somewhere someone is: thinking about me (I hope).

I will always: try to be a source of light.

Forever seems like: something I would like to see.

I never ever want to lose: the respect of the people I love.

My mobile phone is: really helpful since it has a full keyboard.

When I wake up in the morning: I am in terrible pain.

I get annoyed at: poorly made movies.

Parties are: okay if you are there with someone cool.

My pet(s): annoy me while I sleep.

Kisses are: a wonderful way to say hello.

Today I: hope I can make a difference in someones life. Any one.

I really want: to be “that guy”.

I live: my life hoping that when I leave things will be better for those to come.

I work: so that I can afford to dream.

I think: therefore I am. Jackass.

I smell: vanilla. not sure why. They must be making something tasty in the cafe below me.

I listen: because it’s the vase way to learn about people.

I see: the office that is around me and Carrie working at her desk. her face is all messed up from falling out of a truck.

I sing: when I know that no one can hear me.

I can: change the world.

I daydream: whenever I can.

I fall: then I get back up.

I want: a chance to prove what I can do.

I cry: at the end of Armageddon.

I love: the way my children laugh.

I sometimes: wonder what would have happened to me if I had been raised by a different family.

I fear: the part of me that I hide.

I hope: that I can stand the pressure.

I eat: too much.

I drink: soda when I should drink water.

I miss: my brother Kody, my brother Donny, my sister Katie, my dad Bill, my step-dad Dennis and my grandfather Charles.

I forgive: but NEVER forget.

I drive: a black Saab that I love.

I dream: about making a difference.

I kiss: because I care.

I hug: pretty well from what I understand.

I have: a heart shaped birthmark on my left hand.

I remember: more than I want to.

I don’t: know where to begin.

I hate: that I’ve hurt people I care about.

I need: my children’s love and respect.

I believe: that the world can be a better place.

I know: that with your help we can make it a better place.

***Apology Edit***

So there is no way that my ex is going to see this, but she will not take my calls right now, and I can’t blame her. She has lied and treated me terribly for a while and I have taken it, but today I let my anger get the best of me and I said some very hurtful things. I will not repeat them here and I will not tell you what she did to provoke such behavior from me. I will say though that I am sorry. I can’t apologize to her for losing my temper when I was backed into a corner but I can say it here. After all that is what this place is for, right? I called her and left an apology on her machine, but I still feel terrible, I guess I deserve it. She won’t ever see this here but maybe one of you had someone do the same thing, and you can share this apology with my ex. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying things to try and make you feel the way I do. It’s not fair. We are different people with different feelings and I should not blame you for not feeling the same way I do. You think that certain behavior is okay and I disagree, but that doesn’t make you wrong. Perhaps if I had understood that in the first place things could have worked out. My life is moving on and I hope for the very best for you. I am truly sorry for letting my emotions get in the way of good judgment.