(In)Comprehension

Funny old business, really.

(Did I start that other entry this way? Maybe. Who cares.)

Not going to beat around the bush this time. No point – this has no deep resonance, it is just one of those things that happen. Why? I don’t know. She does, maybe. But I have no way of ever knowing.

Basically. Last night my ex (who I broke up with about six weeks ago – the mea culpa thing from a few entries back – and I still haven’t got over properly) and I ended up getting very drunk and spending the night together. Which she initiated. Can’t say I was exactly fighting her off, but I did try and say it would be a bad idea. Really, it’s the sort of thing I thought only happened in films. Like I say, funny old business.

So. Yes. This has left me rather confused. Perhaps not quite as miserable as before, but still very confused.

I don’t understand her. Never did, really. She never was terribly open with me about things. Too…reserved. Which is odd for me to say that. Lord knows I’m not the most open person out there. I know she has some reasons for it. I just don’t know what they are, because she would never tell me. Not properly.

I was happy with her. I don’t think she was with me. Even so, that doesn’t explain why last night happened. Was she just staying with me because she didn’t have any reason not to – which I eventually provided? I think so. Not that she didn’t like me at all, just not enough. Or not in the right way. Same thing really.

Ultimately – I don’t understand her. That’s all there is to it. Does anyone really understand anyone else or come close, or was it just us? I don’t know.

It would be nice to understand someone, though.

Prettier than poetry
Stronger than fidelity
No need for apology
When you’re made of clay
…Just watch out for rainy days.