That is not it at all

It’s funny when you think about it.

I don’t believe in fate. Not at all. But sometimes, things just seem so odd. Something can happen with huge consequences, that can change so much, something that can be devastating. But when you look at it, leading up to it is a whole chain of tiny, seemingly insignificant events, but if any one of those had been different, then the end result, the huge final event, would never have happened at all.

And then, then you can work back from this, and realise what all those little events were. And then you wonder why they happened that way. Why did they? One event could have been a tiny bit different.

Everyone knows the "For want of a nail, the shoe was lost" thing, and perhaps it’s similar, but in real life, you don’t even realise anything’s wrong. You don’t notice, because all the events are so insignificant in themselves, so everyday, that until they all come together and explode, you don’t even realise they’re happening.

It’s like the Butterfly Effect, perhaps, but it works on an everyday level too – and sometimes, you can even work back some of the way to find out something approximating a cause.

Abstraction. Distancing myself from the subject matter, perhaps. Well, of course I am. But I need to write something.  I should write more, at least for myself. Maybe even make recordings. It would at least be amusing for me if I did. Sit and eat a banana whilst listening to some stupid sod from the past.

I can think of at least four tiny changes that would have meant nothing happened. Five, maybe. All pointing in that one direction. I could almost draw a diagram.

I don’t know. Maybe sometimes life conspires to manoeuvre someone into a situation. For what reason, who knows? Or maybe just maybe, it was just a bunch of stuff that happened for no reason what so ever. One event after another – stack them up randomly, sometimes they’ll just fall apart again, sometimes you’ll find you’ve built a bomb.There just is no way of knowing why things happen.

I don’t. Beyond the obvious, anyway.

Mea culpa.

I have had better weekends.