Hanging On

I felt better yesterday, but the spectre of my depression has yet to leave me. My run was good yesterday. I made it all the way through. I contemplated adding extra distance like I have in the past, but decided against it, since my legs were getting pretty tired when I neared the end, and I still have another day to get through. Anyhow, after that, I ate lunch and read my book. I brought hummus with lunch, but forgot to bring anything to dip in it. I didn’t have money to buy chips or anything, so I just ended up eating it with a spoon. That could have been better. The afternoon went fine, if a bit too slowly, and since I was wearing a Cure T-Shirt, I listened to the Cure on the way home. That was enjoyable, particularly since I haven’t listened to much music recently. When I got home, Megan and I started making dinner. We had some pork chops I had bought while they were on sale and defrosted, and I ended up making schnitzel and rice a roni, which we had with the remainder of the Brussels sprouts. Megan was cold, so while I did that and then did the dishes, she unloaded the dishwasher, and then made chocolate chip cookies, so the oven would warm up the kitchen a bit (and the dishwasher, as well). After everything was done, we ate and watched a couple of episodes of Chuck… and I was surprised by how much of it I just don’t remember. Megan then helped me get the trash together, then I took it out while she took a shower. I then decided to buy the next audiobook version of the book I just finished, and took a shower myself, and we went to bed.

This morning, we got up early, and got ready. Megan left around 6:30, so I figured I would try to get a little bit of Skyrim in, and did a bit of traveling, mostly. I was right in the middle of something when my XBox froze up. Luckily, I think it autosaved recently. Since it was frozen, I looked at my watch, and it was just time to go, so I turned everything off and headed off to work, listening to my audiobook, which picked up directly after the last one ended, so it’s like it never stopped. Work has been okay, but depression is gnawing at me, and I’m doing my best not to let it overtake me. There have been a lot of stressful situations, though, and one case where I clearly messed up, partly from inattention based on depression and work dissatisfaction. I’m trying not to be too bothered by that.

Megan’s friends are coming to visit this weekend. They will arrive tomorrow… so we might have some time tonight to ourselves, though we still need to clean the house a bit (at least to move some things and tidy up a bit). We might meet another of her friends for breakfast tomorrow, and Matt and Ryan are planning to come over at some point during the weekend… so I’m a little concerned about being exhausted from all of the socializing… particularly since Thanksgiving is next week, and I don’t even want to think about how that is going to go… because there is just too much going on. I’m going to try to just let go of any expectations and try to take it as it comes… because if I get too worked up about it, I might get depressed, and if I make assumptions about things that might happen and they don’t happen, I might be disappointed. If I just accept whatever comes, it should be fine. I’m sure however many people show up, we will have too much food, and leftovers will be a thing… particularly since we bought a ham, as well… so it doesn’t even matter. I’ll try my best to enjoy everyone’s company both this weekend and next week, and if I need time to myself, well, I guess I’ll just have to take it.