sad dilemma

One of the men in the band that A. plays with (run by my kids’ former guitar teacher) died this week, after a long bout with bladder cancer. We didn’t know he was ill until about a month ago when he was too sick to come sing with the band. It turned out that it had been under control for 8 years, but this year it blew up. He had been working particularly hard at work for several weeks, and they think this undermined his resistance. I don’t know. In any case, once he got sick again, he went downhill fast.

I didn’t know him well, but I loved hearing him sing. He had a special number he used to do at the end of the evening that would bring the house down, Led Zeppelin’s Dazed and Confused. He had a powerful tenor. Sometimes he also sang “You Shook Me,” and I could swear the glasses on the tables rang.

His wake is tomorrow night, and his funeral some time Sat. afternoon. My problem–my choir is singing at services tomorrow night, and A. and I had promised to go see my best friend from high school Sat. afternoon. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve visited her, and if I break this it will be another couple of months before I can do it again. I’d like to skip services tomorrow night, but we need to rally round the cantor, who is having chemo for breast cancer. She doesn’t need the stress of having people not show up.

A. says he will represent us at the wake. That is the best compromise, and yet I feel sad–I would like to be there too. I liked him.