Poor little sick stepdaughter, quiet dysfunction

Got home late from the gym tonight and had a funny feeling coming up to the house. It was mostly dark, with a light in A’s office, where he keeps his computer and drums. He was playing music, but came out as soon as he heard me and said that his daughter seems to have spinal meningitis. He was all tense and hollow eyed. We hugged and I told him she would be all right and he said he knew and then he relaxed. Sometimes you just need to tell someone. (I went off an looked it up on web md.) She is totally not in the age group of people who usually get it. A. called up her mother in law to suggest that they check out the children (who were sick last weekend) as they are in day care and are in one of the age groups that is prone to catching meningitis.

Work was quiet today. I am trying not to let people hit my buttons–so I mostly avoid them. It is my New Year’s resolution, to not get mad at work any more. At the end of the day N. came by to say she was leaving early to go to a doctor’s appointment. She seemed cheerful and happy and was still glad I was working on those reports of hers. I was surprised–this is how egocentric we are, that we think that our gloom infects everyone else.

My former supervisor asked me to help her with the system. It is very odd for me to not be intimidated by her. She finds the atmosphere creepy, the people bizarre (so I know I’m not crazy), and she sort of comes to visit me to reality test. She even admits sometimes that she’s afraid she will be perceived as making a mistake.

Found a great book in the library that says in dysfunctional organizations people spend 80% of the time trying to find out who’s to blame and 20% of the time problem solving, and in functional organizations they spend 80% of the time problem solving and no time at all in looking for people to blame.

God, how awful it must have been to live in an Eastern bloc country.