A Day In This Life

dear spydr…

i find it rather hilarious that the world is freaking out about all this self isolation stuff. i mean, it wasn’t what we thought it would be when i came here, but i’ll tell you what, the last ten months have been pretty good practice. you know me, always looking for a silver lining. i’m used to being alone, and not really going out except to do the weekly supply run. that’s what, three stores in an hour and a half, one of them groceries? once a week? i think i’ll be ok doing what i’ve been doing. although, admittedly, i’m annoyed that it means i won’t have any real time off for a while. how is that fair? the entire world gets days on days on days off, and it means i can’t have any at all. even when they stop having their days off, i’m STILL stuck here. sigh. how many times will it take before you’re tired of hearing about this? i love you for listening again anyway. i’ll probably keep bitching about it. everyone else is exhausted of the subject.

i’ll say this, it gives me some time to catch up. both sets of friends have their own sets of dramaz to fill me in on, and sometimes, i get overwhelmed, or i lose track of which story needs updating. this should allow us all an opportunity to either catch up, like us (because i know you still get your scoop from me. hahaha.), or detox from the dramaz for a while. except for one little hiccup for our favorite esteemed karaoke host. guess who met the neighbor boy? LOL!! typical spice, she always comes through in a pinch. when i answered her call this morning, she said “i had to call you to tell you what a whore i am.” i love that she always owns it, and doesn’t give two fucks who thinks what. man, i miss her.

i keep thinking about when i want to be down south in may. i know we talked about my coming down for your birthday, but i’m pretty sure i don’t want to do that now. it will be hard enough to go home the first time and not have you there to greet me – i don’t know if my mental health can handle the assault of your birthday on top of it. i’ll already see you everywhere, and wish you were everywhere, and mentally re-document all of the little hidey holes and brick walls and bar dance floors and patio chairs and porches and platforms we found for a quick talk and a quick kiss. (or two. or that one time, three. nitro’s fault! “it IS called turn THREE, yanno.” i can’t stop giggling.) i don’t want to make the whole thing into a sad affair. i’ll have enough sad moments there.

i thought maybe i’d go for memorial day weekend. sort of. fly in on that wednesday, and stay a week and a half. of course, that’s contingent on the doctors actually clearing such an activity. and money. they don’t pay me for the days mom is in respite care. i said to wenda today without thinking, i guess i’ll have to look into an airbnb after all. even our best laid plans, babe. sigh. it took me a second to recover from that one, but she caught me and covered the flow. thank heavens for spice. anyway, i figured it’d be neat to be able to go to Oke-Fest again, maybe make it into an annual event. sugar makes her triumphant return annually for oke fest, let the games begin! we had fun! and watching people watch you walk in was hilarious. 🙂 thanks for coming…thanks for doing that for me. i know it wasn’t your bag. i was so glad to see you….and we wouldn’t have had that last kiss, if you hadn’t, so…<3

i’m okay today, so far. getting some stuff done, despite wanting just to sit here and babble to you. i feel like it was super easy to slip back into the habit of writing because everything i need to say, i need to say to you. since this is the only way to do that….it seems natural again. like it used to be. thanks for that.

connecticut is basically going into lock down. soon, it’ll be pharmacies and grocery stores only. i’m hoping the liquor store down the street holds out till i get paid on thursday. i’ll do double my weekly run, and be done with it. we should be able to stay pretty self-contained after that, except for doctor’s appointments – and even at that, i don’t know that the state will allow that to continue. we’ll see what happens after wednesday.

meanwhile, i should probably try to eat something. that’s been better over the last day and a half or so. it’s still a chore i forget to handle sometimes, but i don’t really mind that. i should also get myself some protein shake stuff now that i’m thinking about it. i’ll look into that on thursday, too. or i’ll order from amazon, either way.

i love you, spydr. that’s something that won’t ever change.

lolak

…sugarz