dads, rollercoasters, & mad pole skills

Wow, my title seems almost creepy, doesn’t it? Eh, oh well. (I hate this but there are a few words that I ALWAYS mis-type the first time, for no good reason. i.e. Well… it’s always "weel" the first time. Knee is another that escapes me… it’s always, and this is really dumb, knww. I hate that.)

At any rate, let’s start with dads. As in mine. As in I talked to him tonight, for the first time in almost 10 years (the last time being a complete disaster). We talked for 168 minutes and 45 seconds. Yeah, I took note. I can’t say there were any mind-blowing, wonderful break-throughs or anything, but it was ONLY over the phone and it was the 1st conversation, so I’m trying to not expect too much. I think he’s confused and worried about what to say to each of us. We’re all really different (as alike as we are) and approaching each of us has to be different. Robbie is no-nonsense, Laz is veeery emotional, and I’m kind of somewhere in between. I want the mushy "I’ve been horrible and I’m so sorry, please forgive me" stuff, but I don’t want it to be forced or insincere. And I don’t want it too quickly b/c then, even if it’s not, it’ll seem insincere. I want him to love me, but I don’t want to hear it yet, b/c he doesn’t KNOW me yet. He knew a 7 year old little girl, not a 27 year old woman, so he can’t ‘love’ me just yet… but I want him to. God! I’m impossible. At any rate, the conversation was pretty surface stuff. I couldn’t resist a few digs, honestly, but he took them very well and even said he deserved my smart-assery. I agreed, nicely. 🙂

The rollercoasters are also about the father-like one. Turns out, he’s kind of a big kid. He is a truck driver and has 12 days on and 2 days off. On the 2 days off, he spends his time either at the beach (he lives in St. Augustine, Fl) or at Universal Studios, riding roller coasters. Now, part of that is funny b/c I’m a rollercoaster junkie. I can’t support my habit, but I would ride rollercoasters all day if I could. The other part is a little worrisome bc this man is trying to come into our lives and be a father and I’m not sure how well a child-like person could do that. Of course, in my head, I’m already 40 years old, so I tend to be a little hard on my parents sometimes. They (at least my mom) don’t really deserve it, but it’s kind of how my brain functions. I know, I know, I should work on it… and I think I am trying. I don’t know.

Next!

I need pole dancing skills. Guys like girls with skills. This is one that is pretty much guaranteed to be a hit. There was a conversation with a fantastico lady about this earlier. I need to add this to the list of things that I could learn for less than $50. Because, quite honestly, I can’t imagine an exotic dancer turning down $50 to take me into one of those "private" rooms and show me how to work a pole. 🙂 (that sounded dirty) I don’t know. Now I have to figure out how to get a porn star to show me how to make my legs bend that way.

So, that’s been my day. Throw in some dinner making and cookie baking and you have it. (I almost hate that it rhymed)

Alright. I am satisfied that I’ve written another entry this quickly following the last.

<3 you all muchos.

tia