The weekend of ‘huh?!’…

Yeah, it was just that kind of weekend. The majority of it was wonderful, but there was a lot of little ‘huhs’ in it.

Friday I took the night off of work to spend some ‘quality time’ w/ Joe. We had a volunteer(!) sitter and I thought we’d go to a movie or something. Well, Thursday night we had a huge fight (the why’s are irrelevant) but part of it was he didn’t want to go out and spend money. So I cancelled the sitter and planned to stay home. When he got home, it pissed him off that I’d cancelled, but it was too late by then, so we fought some more. Finally, we agreed to let it all go (b/c it really was stupid shit) and I took Yani to a movie in town instead. We saw Prince Caspian. I’m sure some people will give this movie hell b/c it’s not this or that, but we thought it was pretty great. I don’t care if it was perfectly true to the book (I’ve learned to not make movies live up to that) and I don’t really care that some of the acting left a little to be desired; it was a good "take your kid to the movies" movie and I will like it. So there. 🙂 Anyways, she said she really enjoyed herself and that’s what I was shooting for. It bothers her when Joe and I fight (which really isn’t all that often) and I think she has some worry that we’ll fall apart again (understandably) so it freaks her out. We’re trying to teach her that people fight… it’s just the nature of people … and if we didn’t, things would be more dangerous, b/c we’d be lying to ourselves and each other constantly. I hope she’s starting to get it. I don’t want her to be like I was for so long – a people pleaser – b/c it made me a door mat and insanely unhappy.

Saturday, Mom came and picked up Yani. They are on their way to VA to meet w/ my brother when he hits shore later this week. They only stayed here about 20 minutes and now we have no big kids until next weekend! So Joe and I and Piper headed to the back yard and spent ALL day out there. Joe and I worked on re-finishing some of the furniture that needed it. I need a power sander, lemme tell ya, doing it by hand is HARD work. But, we got the first bookshelf done and we’re working on the second one. Once I get the power sander, I’ll start on the patio table and some of the other stuff. I wonder if I could do furniture re-finishing as a side job so that I could quit my crappy job. I need to make no less than $400 a month… hmm… we’ll see I guess.

Then Joe’s parents headed up and brought their tiller w/ them, so we tilled up the area for our garden. I know it’s kind of late in the spring, but it’s our first one, so we’re not expecting miracles anyway. One more problem w/ me working every night. It’s impossible to get things done UNTIL the weekend, so things happen kind of slowly around here. Saturday night, after putting the baby to bed, we were sitting on the back porch and I mentioned I was really ready to get our firepit dug, b/c it’s such perfect weather for late night fires. Well, Mr. Do-it-right-now said … well, let’s do it right now. So, it’s almost twilight and we’re digging a hole by the back corner of the yard for our firepit. We lugged some of the bigger stones we have to ring it and Voila! a fire pit. He’d done some pruning the weekend before of our big pine trees and some crappy shrub that had to go, so we have plenty of wood to burn. I’m going to be on the lookout for those "free firewood" signs though, b/c ours are just little pine branches that burn very quickly. It’d be nice to have a longer lasting, more stable fire. 🙂 We sat out by it for about 2 hours, just enjoying the evening.

Sunday, we went right back outside. I made Joe slather on some sunscreen b/c he got fried on Saturday. Piper and I had taken care of it on Saturday (nothing worse than a sunburned baby) so we were fine, but he was lobster red. He tilled up the garden a second time and I put a final coat on the first bookshelf. I tried to work on sanding the other, but decided that Joe could take it work to do it. We’d had to fill some nail holes in it and I was killing myself to sand out the filler. He works in a cabinet/woodworking company, so sanding is a piece of cake there. 🙂 When Piper took a nap, I took advantage of the sun and just laid in it for about an hour. Got a little color w/out a burn which is WONDERFUL! 🙂

But the weird stuff happened on Sunday. I got (and was expecting) a phone call from my little brother midmorning (the one in the Navy). He was finally near the US coast, down by Florida. We talked for a little bit and then hung up. He called me back pretty quickly. He had talked to our (newfound) sister and she told him that he was really really close to our father (in St. Augustine). So Rob had decided to give the man a call. He did and almost immediately, Bob agreed to meet w/ Robbie in Jacksonville. Evidently, Rob was able to get off the ship for a couple hours. Well, they met up! For the first time in almost 15 years, my brother saw our father. He called me last night, when he was back on the ship, and said that it was a great meeting. They just talked about random things, nothing too serious yet, but important stuff nonetheless. I could hear in his voice how important it was to have met w/ him.

Then today my father emails me w/ his phone number and asks me to call him. I don’t know what to do, I guess. I’m worried that if I do, Joe will think I’m making decisions w/ out him, BUT it’s my father. It’s kind of my decision to make, as long as it’s only affecting me. Anything in regards to the kids, involves both of us, so I wouldn’t do that w/ out his ok… but I think I may call Bob today. *sigh* see what I mean, it’s all very "huh..".

I need a vacation, kids. 🙂

or a stiff drink… or a stiff something… LOL sorry.

You know, all of this aside (or maybe b/c of it), I’m very happy. I know that I don’t express happiness well, but let’s face it, I don’t have a lot of practice with it. I’m at peace here. Even when I want to rip my hair out and scream, it’s a peaceful and happy ripping and screaming. 🙂 I guess I just feel like I’m home. And I’m finding that my home has family. And I’m finding my voice and my strength and my courage and my drive to be exactly what we already are. That probably made NO sense to anyone else. Maybe Miss Syd will get it. 🙂

I love you guys. I know I don’t have the big numbers of readers that some of you do, but the one’s I have are fantabulous and I wouldn’t trade ’em for 12,000,000 myspace friends 🙂

Also, I know I’m a ‘turrible’ noter… About the time I get it one of these entries written and everyone else’s read, the baby decides (as she is doing now) that all of the movies on our shelves belong on the floor, next to every pair of shoes that she, I, or her father owns, PLUS it all needs a good mixing with the breakfast that she hid in the pockets of her current outfit. *sigh* Motherhood has it’s perks… this is not one of them. (are you sure you’re up for this, Silly?)

Alright, this should be the end, I suppose, before the shredded wheat become ground-into-my-new-carpet wheat.

Adios!! 🙂

~tia

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