Fall

Wow, it has been a while!

Things are settling down at work. The new software is getting more familiar and more informative. We switched over at the worst possible time, during a huge sale. ugh. and we knew it too. but we had several disasters because of it, and I am still trying to work bugs out of it.

But I am not putting in as many hours.

The business mgr asked me if I wanted to be salary. Hmmm… I think I do, but then I will feel guilty if I take time off, and feel ripped off if I have to put in long days and don’t get paid extra. I think I will ask more questions and think about it.

Got to see my kids over their fall break. son wanted to come home, but we all went to see my inlaws and stayed there for a few days. Fall break was only Monday Tuesday, but I took off work and did that kind of spontaneously. GOod think work had slowed down.

It was so nice. And then to come back to the empty nest was kind of depressing the next few days. Now my hip is out and I am having trouble walking, or sitting or anything! Gotta get to the chiropractor! Dummy me, I should have gone in Friday, but no, now I have to suffer all weekend. Especially since the weather is nice and I COULD be getting some exercise, which I desperately need.

I have been fighting some anxiety issues. I have a strong tendency to overthink and beat myself up over what I consider faux paux or just dumb stuff I say or do. I keep thinking, If I had just done this instead, I wouldn’t feel this way and things would have gone better, etc, etc.

I think I offended someone I have a lot of respect for and I feel bad about that. I don’t know if I even want to admit it on here. But we went walking some time ago, my dau and I, and we walked past someone’s house and totally ignored the person there cuz it was kind of late and we didn’t want to stop. but we knew the person saw us, and now I feel like such a heel. Why didn’t we at least wave and say hi. There. I admitted it. Maybe now I can get past it. I keep playing it over and over in my head and wondering what this person thought and how rude that was of us. ANd how nice it would have been had we said hi, or stopped a minute. But, No, we had to be stuck up… or whatever it was that made us do that. I keep wondering why? Why did we do that?

I kind of know why, but still, it was rude. And how do you apologize for something like that? I have pretty much decided to try to pretend it didn’t happen, for my sake and the sake of this other person. But I have not talked to this other person since then, which makes the anxiety even worse. Maybe they think I don’t like them, and what’s up with that? Oh bleh.

Well, I better go. I hope everyone is doing ok.

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.