going well

I thought it would be harder that son left the nest. It might yet be. I have been walking every morning (except yesterday and today) and I think that helps me keep my head above water. It was kind of nice to have the house to ourselves this morning when we got up, hub and I. Son was usually not around in the evenings anyway, and unless he worked on a saturday morning, he was always around in the morning. I miss him.

He called all wigged out after seeing what his bill is for this semester. He has scholarships, but he is taking so many hours this particular scholarship doesn’t cover them all. And his books are paid for in the honors program, but there too he went above the limit and had to pay for books. He saved pretty much this last summer, and I think he thought it would go farther than it will. He also spent a lot, so he knows he could have had more stashed away.

He was all gloomy and would not be cheered up. I tried to encourage him to just go outside, walk around and try to forget about it. But he really was in a funk and just kept going in circles. I haven’t talked to him since, but he is probably ok. If not, he probably would have called again.

I called my son in law several times today. Dau’s phone went dead, so she called me from his phone. So then I keep calling his number, and get either one of them.

I still have anxiety attacks, but not too bad. Getting ready for this reception. I was afraid no one was coming, but I am getting some rsvps now. A lot of ppl will be out of town. One lady in particular that I really wanted to be there will be out of town. she is bummed and so am I. she lives across the street from us and has prior committments out of town. Oh well. Last minute I thought to invite son in laws relatives who live about an hour away, which is very close when you live out in the middle of nowhere USA. A lot of them could not go to the wedding because it was so far away (7-8 hour drive into another time zone even!) The cake lady was cool with just making sheet cakes. I thought she was going to be mad that it was such a small project. But she seemed really cool about it. I am picking them up next Sat AM at 8.

Son was very overwhelmed his first day, and did nothing but homework for 2 days apparently. Then when he got to class, he was prepared and some of the other kids were not. The advisor who signed him up for the harder classes said that he did that so incoming freshmen would develop good study habits right away, rather than thinking university was pud and starting off slacking. That was wise in my son’s case. He has often not worked hard, becuase he has not been challenged and got by anyway. Now he is being challenged.

I am thinking he might be homesick. I am not calling him. I think he will adjust just fine, but it is all so new. I love my son so much. I have gotten teary eyed, and I did cry a few weeks ago when it was coming up, but after the fact, I am ok with it. It is a new phase of life.

I remember the week before I left to go down to dau’s wedding, which would be about 2 weeks before son would move to college, I sat on the edge of his bed, and he looked at me and said, I am not ready for this. I said, I know. Neither am I. One of those bonding moments with very few words. We just connected. Both of us realizing time is up. Dau’s wedding in between kept me from preparing for it I guess. But it has worked out. I just hope sonshine is doing ok. At least he has his sister there.

Hub and I went downtown to the bakery this morning cuz he wanted to get breakfast. I didn’t really want to go, but I could tell he did. Found out the bakery doesn’t serve breakfasts on weekends, only week days. Since hub is a regular lunch customer, she made him a bacon, cheese egg bagel anyway. It was good! There were many older ladies there, an older couple and some older gentlemen. We were the youngest by far except the lady who runs the bakery. I told hub, this is weird. Notice everyone doing what we are doing is way older than us. We had a nice morning, and I have kept busy all day getting a lot done. Lots more to do….

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.