forever young

Mother of Three reminded me of something I was thinking this summer. Dau is 19, son is 17, I am 45. I still see myself as 30. I see both dau and son as 16. Dau maybe 18. Dau is dating a guy who is 23 but to me he is about 20. Then again, part of me has seen them as adults all along. That sounds weird, but it is true. When they find themselves in a situation, I let them bail themselves out. #1 because it is good for them, but #2 I am lazy. lol. I stayed home with them when they were little, and was overprotective. But when it came to certain things, they were on their own.

I had a terrible time getting myself out of bed in the mornings (still do) so they had to get up on time or they would be late. In fact, they would wake me so I could take them to school. They fixed their own breakfast. Boy, I am lazy. But I have other redeeming qualities. Just not sure what they are… jk.

I guess it was good that I had to go to work at one point. At first, not so good cuz they had trouble adjusting, even tho they were well into grade school. They went to a babysitter, but could still walk to our house if need be. Dau exhibited signs of OCD, washing her hands constantly, for about a year. Maybe longer. But they had to be responsible for things at home cuz I was not there to do it.

Son never did pick up on fixing himself something to eat. When he was younger, he showed much more promise in the kitchen than his sister. But she kind of got on a kick to lose weight and eat healthier, (kind of extreme) so she fixed her own food. She made herself eggs every morning (still does when she is home) and would go shopping for fruit. My son on the other hand is happy with breakfast cereal, Carnation Instant Breakfast, chips and salsa. That is all he will eat unless I fix him something else. And even then he says, no I don’t want eggs. I’m not hungry. Well, he just ate a bag of Skittles in his room. Of course, he is not hungry. Sigh. Wish I could get him to make more nutritious choices. Oh well.

He is overweight, sort of. Not terribly. He doesn’t look it but he weighs 210. He bought himself a membership to the Y and started working out this summer. Only went about 10 times tho. He still has another month on his membership before it expires, so I hope he goes again. Some days he does well with eating and exercising. Other days he eats candy, drinks pop and plays computer games.

Usually when I am home, he wants to leave. I don’t know what his deal is. But the other night, I went to work and he came home from his evening job at a restaraunt. I wasn’t home so he came up to see me at work! I am thinking to myself, he can’t wait to get away from me when I am home, but when I am gone, he comes to see me. Bizarre.

It is the same with hub. When I am home, he has to leave. When I am gone for a weekend is when he stays home and actually works on the house. So weird.

The 6 months that we lived 300 miles apart was the best 6 mos of our marriage. Every minute we spent together was treasured. Now, it is like, oh, it’s you, I’ll just go watch TV. I am OK with it, but I don’t understand it. It is actually easier for me to just do what I want if he is preoccupied with TV. Bad attitude, but oh well.

Dau’s bf has noticed hub and I don’t communicate well. Duh. Like that is hard to tell? We get along OK for the most part. Good thing cuz we do not work out our difficulties well at all. He does his things and I do mine. I make basically no demands of him. I get frustrated that he lets the house maintenance go, but what is a girl to do? I can’t afford to hire it done. Nagging doesn’t work. If I could do it myself, I would. The garage NEVER would get cleaned but what little I do. And I don’t know where he wants stuff. It is dirty and tools are not organized at all. The only things organized are what I happen to put together. Otherwise, it is a huge space-waster. Stuff just tossed here and there. Embarrassing.

We don’t do much together, but that ends up being my choice. I don’t like to be caught somewhere with him when he gets the idea to do something spontaneous and crazy, or make me listen to music I don’t like. We like totally

I have decided I just need to chill, be forgiving, and trust God. That plan is working.

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.