Twoday…

Is what i would call an average day…
"How are you?" "Average really, yourself?"

went SHOPPING. food shopping. which i love. because im using fathers money. to fill MY stomach, with lovely lovely food i woulnt look twice at if it were my own money >< 
oh i am mean 🙁
AND,
we bet money…
MONEY
on the races…um
whats it called? the big race thingy going on at the moment with the "fascinator" hats and what not. XD 
whatever it is… £60 spread across.. 11 horses.
and we havent even checked, let alone watched the race.

also something that made me laugh a little. i only done it to prove a point;
Followed father into the "Bookies" Noting the "nobody under the age of 18 permitted in these premises even whilst under supervison of an adult" sign on the door.
IMMEDIATLY i was pounced on by a tall, poofy looking male, who seemed quite… nervy about asking for ID.
i calmly replied i was only helping my intoxicated father make a SAFE bet. without losing our home or anything….
they said they could help him, HA HA HA im sure they will.

Nobody actually told me to leave, so i stood there, all eyes on me. i handed over the money to father, and the slip with all the names, looked around at them all and said…"So er, should i like go then?" 
"yeah just wait outside" well, thanks for the unnecessary awkwardness there guys.

waiting outside, peering in every two minutes to make sure he wasnt signing away his life, i felt a craving for a cigerette, (can’t even spell what im addicted to =|) cursing my addictive personality, i glance at the shop next door
"Martins’" or something. figure i have around £6 in my purse and some ID claiming i am in fact only 17 (which has previously aided my clubbing times) I stroll in head held high, rattling some house keys in my hand (making the shop keeper under the impression i drove there) i confidently requested "twenty lambert & butler please"
"URRR HAVE YOU ID?"
me = oooh shitee ok. do I;
A) show him my provisional hoping hes too thick and it would be too awkward for him to attempt to work out my age or;
B) claim i dont have it on me…
I went for the latter,
"Ohh shite, ah, im really sorry i left it back at the house, i can go back and get it, i’ll be like two minutes"
"What was it you wanted again?"
i, confused, repeated the request and he handed the death sticks to me.

just to top off his suspicions of my under-agedness i counted out coppers to pay the full amount.
LOL
i walked out and pondered how it was ok to BLATENTLY sell FAGS to an underage girl. Yet im not allowed to set a foot inside a betting office.
made me wonder what goes on in there…

im shivering. its like ten past three in the morning. and i want to phone Tom to beg to stay at his tonight.
i dont want to sleep alone.
i know he’ll only badger me for SHEXXX but considering i was stood up tonight by the almighty HOT musician who i totally fancy and feel WELL happy that he’s chosen me to sleep with XD i might give in. which is deterring me.
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. maybe cuddle? not toooo much to ask is it?
ergh ergh ergh.
 

ALSO. Alan (the guy who asked me for a relationship…feeling is kind of mutual although i am not sure) is meeting me tomorrow. so i must decide tonight.
wheather to give up my promiscuousness w/e you call it XD and be with him… or leave it and carry on.
i done myself a tarot reading a few months ago, and it did say that right now i have quantity rather than quality, when quality is all i ever wanted, something around those lines anyway, considering the numerology and the card drawn.
not sure wheather i should put my heart on the line again,. OR HIS. i dont want to hurt him, hes beautiful and funny 🙂 🙂

BUT this is TOMORROW! and tomorrow i have my driving lesson at 12 until 2, then from 2 – 5 im doing nothing, between these hours this HOT musician wants to "meet up" and "hang out" as we should have done tonight. then at 5 i am meeting Alan. My Beb (Beb is something i call someone that means alot to me. mainly because it used to be boob as my boobs mean alot to me, insignificant as they are =/ Beb is… less crude? or something?) BUT
i wanted to go to this music club tomorrow. which is a jam night, where i get to look at all the hot musical eye candy talent out there and try to grab one before theyre famous…

Myabe it is time to leave all that behind. including getting wasted and splurting shite to hot musicians, and get with Alan. PERM.
now that is a frightening thought, im too young. and im not ready.
i think ive made my decision… 🙁 🙁
Sorry Beb 🙂

Notes on this Subby – Greatleh appreciated 🙂