Here I am again
Here I am again. Ive been away for a few years but it seems like I always find my way back to this site. Its like I come here when I am trying to find myself in some way that even i don’t quiet understand. Right now I am sitting in Starbucks trying to compete this paper. It’s like I cant get the words on the paper. I am so close to graduation and I am just afraid of ruining it. Right now my life is so confusing. I look back on my previous entries and I though I had it hard….yea, not really. It’s just so much drama going on in my life right now. I’m still single and I still have this hole in my heart. It’s not about Terrell anymore really. I mean, I don’t think about him often at all. It’s just like Johan and I are still in the middle of this drama. I am trying my hardest to pull away from him. He turned out to be this person I never thought he would be. He’s this guy that would abandon his daughter and lie to everyone about having one. He’s this guy who was living with another girl, while dating this nurse and flirting with me, trying to suck me in. The worst part is, if I wasnt as smart as I am, the person who takes everything slow, I could have been that stupid nurse, I could have been the person looking so stupid right now. But even knowing all of this, and trying to be that strong person who lets people go, Im struggling with drawing a line with him. Because he always seeks me out and make a point of finding me and talking to me. I SMDH at him sometimes cause I want to just be away from him. But I work with this guy every weekend. It got a little better because I have been taking time off and focusing on self-care and spending time away. Like I went to PR with Jayden for a tournament, then I went to PR with my girls, then I went to Daytona for Gator Nationals Karate with my son who, by the way, totally kicked ass. The time away has help. I think I gotta just keep focusing on that.
ON ANOTHER NOTE……….
The tournament in Daytona was amazing. Jayden completly kicked ass! I am soooo proud of him. He’s grown up to be a amazing little boy. He’s 7 years old now and almost 5 feet tall. He is way more coordnated than you would ever expect a 7 year old or a boy at that height to be. Friday night was extreme weapons and he placed 2nd place. Saturday was traditional weapons and fighting. His traditional weapons were on point. He did a great job, the best we have ever seen from him. (http://www.youtube.com; search for Jayden Williams, Team AJC to view) He deserved to win, everybody thought so. Even the other observers who weren’t from Team AJC. But the judges appeared to have a affinity towards the BO and they placed him second. Needless to say, Maryiels was very upset about that because it wasnt "fair". It was obvious he was cheated and Karen was mad like it was her being cheated lolol!!! I was a little upset but I let it go. Mainly because this was like his first MAJOR tournament and we didn’t expect him to place in any of the weapon events. Plus he still had to fight and that IS his main event. Kyosh expected him to be 1st or 2nd. AJC is a fighting school, not a weapons school, so there was expectations for his fighting that he did not have for weapons. Jayden completly kicked ass. Like impressivly so. The first round was like the kid wanted to quit. Jayden did a step back side kick that had the poor kid flying accross the mat. I think he tried to rearrange the kids 5 and 7th vertabre- LMFAO. He just laid there for a minute before runing and crying to his mom. After that, the kid basicly didnt want anymore and he got beat rather quickly. From that point, the other kids did not want to fight him. They didnt want any part of Jayden. I don’t blame them. Compared to him, the other kids are like midigets and because most of them comes from schools that focus on forms they are not use to fighting. One of the ladies from the other team told my sister that the dojo her son goes to dont really do much fighting except playing around. She says that she brings her son to the tournaments so they can learn how to fight…. ahh – wrong move. AJC train fighters. They are known as the best and hated by other dojo’s because of it. Jayden puts in the time at the dojo and you can see it. Most of the kids do not use techniques. They are kicking and punching wildly because they are only 6/7 years old. With Jayden, when he is fighting, his goal is to not only beat you, it’s to make sure you don’t want to come back for anymore – ever.
The second fight was more of the first accept Jayden punched this kid hard and caused my to say "god damn" loud enough for meghan (leo’s mom) and Dojuce (Susie’s mom) to hear and start laughing. The ref said something to him and that made him pull back which messed him up for the final. He ended up beating the boy Christopher but he had wayyy more problems then he should have. His reward was a 6 foot trophy we had to take appart to fit in the car. He won two 4 -foot trophes for the 2nd place weapons. LOL. Afterward the fighting, angel told him he cant pull back. He has 4 warnings before he is DQ’d and he should go ahead and use at least 3 of them. I thought that was kind of funny.
It’s really funny. I never really felt apart of this team when we went to the tournament in PR. They was so standoffish and clicqish. But they have been trying to talk to me more now. Could be because I am staying away from cathy more now. Sometimes she can be so embarressing. I have to stay away from her. I like the team parents and I had a really good time.