Life and Afterlife
I went to a funeral service tonight or a wake – or what? What are these things called?
My father’s neighbor crossed the bridge after 91 years here on earth. Left behind were his wife of 64 years(that’s no typo – 64 years!) , 2 daughters, 1 son and 3 (I think) grandchildren.
He was my father’s neighbor for 50 years.
He worked for the same company for nearly 50 years.
The service was nice. A short nice sermony bit delivered by the wife’s priest, followed by a lovely eulogy prepared by his 3 children and read by his son.
He was a wonderful man. A generous, kind, family-oriented, loving and principaled man. But that’s not what this entry is about for me. For me, it’s about the numbers.
64 years of marriage.
50+ years in the same house (they were already there when my parents moved in.)
50 years for the same company.
All those numbers add up to a sense of permanance that’s hard to come by these days…a level of commitment that is rare indeed.
And I wonder….is THAT the piece that’s missing? I have lived in 11 different houses, in 3 different states. I have held about 14 different jobs (I may have forgotten one or two – some were VERY forgettable). I’ve had 2 husbands. None of that makes me bad or abnormal. It’s just how I played my life out….restlessly.
Not just me, personally. Those numbers are low in comparison to many of today’s families. (Military families excluded – they have a built-in move clause!) I shudder to think of how many times some of my students have already moved, changed parents/families, and watched their parents change jobs, mates, houses, alliances.
I’m just thinking out loud. I don’t KNOW that that willingness or desire to "stick with" something is better or leads to a better quality of life – but my dad’s neighbor had a long, fulfilling and satisfying life. There were good times and bad, but overall his life landed squarely in the plus side of the graph.
I wonder if I’ll be able to say the same…….
xoxo
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wow “64”..
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It all comes down to that question in the end. I’d like to be on the plus side too, but if I make it, it’ll be by the skin of my teeth 🙂
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Had 40 years with a very interesting job, 57 with a wonderful wife, & family of 4 kids. She has been gone since 1997. German Shepherd dog, Tasha, and I are alone in this home that used to be a beehive of happy family life.
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I’m not a fan of moving. My dad still lives in the house we moved into when I was two. I moved five times in two years, during one stretch, but have been here on the peninsula for nearly 17 years! Even so, I DO a lot of sleeping around (heh) with all the housesitting, so I cover that element of restlessness, too. In all, I’ve been in the same state my entire life, so there’s some permanence, at least so far! xoxo
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I think it’s all about your nature. Some people thrive or sometimes it just necessary to be on the move. Others (like me) prefer to root. Both sure have their pros and cons. No matter where you are in the equation though, it’s still possible to land in the plus side.
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Hard to say. I’ve lived in 29 different places and was only 38 when I moved into this house in ’95. I’ve been here a long time, in my terms, but I think I’m ready to sell and move to something smaller. I don’t know for sure, though. I guess life is what it needs to be for each of us. With a shrug…
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oh hell yes….. you have a rich life now. it’s real real full. and rich. it’s just different than doing the same thing day in and day out for all of your life. i’d go nuts like that. i think over this way in our neck of woods, if a body is present at the service they call it a funeral. they have a wake(or a mass) generally the night before the funeral service. if the body ain’t aroundor it’s in a little urn, they call it a memorial service.
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I think you will. Changing residences and jobs can mean one has a high sense of adventure. What would our country be like without the adventurous spirit of early settlers? Striving to make our lives better, unafraid to strike out on new paths, is just as important to some, as permanence and tradition is to another. Both contribute to our world. We are all threads in the beautiful tapestry of life. My stats Marriages: 3 Homes: 23 (not military) Jobs: 16
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How awful when you start crunching those numbers. Mine’s 8 houses in 3 counties (excluding the RAF moves), and 19 jobs! (Some were short term left for better ones!) Hugz
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A lot of food for thought here…
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We measure so much of life by the numbers, whether they mean anything or not. Years, weight, height, age. Some things can’t be measured by numbers. How has your career as a teacher helped the younguns you taught? As a writer, how have you touched people you don’t even know? We can’t assign numbers to these important accomplishments.
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I think that you will. That plus side is a different place for each of us, you know.
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my parents have been married 67 years. My dad is/was a farmer, but my mom worked the same job for 30+ years before she retired. They have lived in this house for over 20 years, but only moved because my dad always hated the house mom bought while he was in the war.
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Bless your father’s neighbor … wherever he is now.Working for that long at a company could also be a tribute to the company. Many places now seem to discourage seniority, which often means paying higher wages, and instead rely on a largely inexperienced workforce with little if any historical perspective.Through my moves & job changes, I’ve stuck with what’s been important to me.
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I am always in awe of stories like this. He grew up in different times and with different standards, yet 64 years is awesome.
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Everyones life is their own and what suits one person is not necessarily right for another. I don’t think I would be happy with his life, it doesn’t mean either of us is wrong, just different. Everything we do becomes a part of who we are and that has to be a good thing.
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He certainly took commitment seriously. I think that’s lacking everyone younger than us. What a man – he had a good life, didn’t he?
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