September 8, 2005

Sometimes I Forget….

I need reminding sometimes. Why is it that I do the job that I do? Aside from the obvious that is. I need money. To get money, I need a job. This is a job. I do it for the money I need. But there’s another layer.

I have been SO broke this last few weeks. Every time I take steps to reduce my bills, something else comes along……..prosperity is not my strong point, unfortunately. The fact that teaching pays subhuman wages around here doesn’t help. I have get another job to supplement – I’m just not sure what it will be. On top of that everything has felt just a little off-kilter. Not wrong – just not right. There is no actual reason for this that I can find – it just IS.

Yesterday I was stuggling with all these feelings. I wanted to go stick my head in a hole and hope everything would be better in the morning. But there was a track meet – and I am a timer. So I went to the track meet, which was held at the high school down the road from here.

As I was coming in, the high school football team was loading up on the buses to go to a game. I heard – Ms. Wolf!! Ms. Wolf!! I looked up to find one of last year’s students beaming at me. He looked so grown up in that football uniform! I got a big big hug and he was off. Right behind him came a student from 2 years ago. Even more mature looking – and another big hug. We talked about his brother for a few seconds before he had to go. Bringing up the rear was yet another previous student – this one had really grown! He enfolded me in a hug. ENFOLDED. That’s not easy to do. I’m 6′ feet tall and not at all thin. I experienced a true bear hug! He grinned ear-to-ear and was off onto the bus.

Somewhere near the end of the track meet one of my students from 2 years ago snuck up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. We talked for quite a few minutes. His grades are good, he’s on the basketball team, he has a job….and a 10 month old baby. Sigh. Babies having babies. Still, he is keeping up his end of the bargain…giving the momma money and actually sharing in the care of the boy. It’s probably not the best choice they could have made, but it appears they are trying to make the best OF the choice. When he left, I got another hug and a promise of baby pictures to come.

This morning my current students were in the hallway – Did you see me last night Ms. Wolf? I really ran good, didn’t I? That other team was just lucky! Are you coming next week? PLEASE???!!!!!

And so it hit me. THIS is why I do it. Bear hugs and impish smiles. It’s just that simple.

FallingDog

September 9, 2005

Wow, what a great entry, P! Thank you.

Queen Wysiwyg

Yay!

BBe

How heartwarming! I envy you all those hugs… seriously. I can absolutely see why you do what you do.

Ahem

Yes. I think a living would help, too. It’s lovely to have you writing here again.

Starbright

It’s good to hear from you. You’ve been such an important part of those kids’ lives, they’ll never forget you. That has to make you proud. But it doesn’t put food on the table and it’s a crime that you’re not getting paid what you’re worth. Where are you ever going to find extra hours for another job?

wren

Lovely entry, Ms Wolf. What you give to your students should be recognized, not only with hugs, but also with appropriate pay. It isn’t fair how things work.

Cheesestiks&Students

This entry made my eyes well up in tears. Yep that is why we do it. r

jule

i’ve missed your writing. makes me smile.

Wooden Sandals

And we count our riches in smiles and laughter while the poor only have things. No diamond has yet to sparkle like the heart of a child met with love.

tracker

I bet those hugs felt great. 🙂

Willy & Wilma

A song comes to mind, from the movie Carousel I think, with the words: “Love makes the wornd go ’round”. Another one back in the Great Depression days: Ah! sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found thee; Ah! I know at last the secret of it all; All the longing, striving, seeking, waiting, yearning, The burning hopes, the joys and idle tears that fall!

For ’tis love, and love alone, the world is seeking; And it’s love, and love alone, that can repay; ‘Tis the answer, ’tis the end and all of living, For it is love alone that rules for aye!

Lael

Yeah, nothing like that feeling of being wanted and needed ryn: yes for the most part now if I could get him to put grocery stuff away hehe none parishables that is, he puts the cold stuff away, hrmm I wonder, hope all is well with you and chickie. Hope this means no bad Katrina problems for you. Lael

froglette

September 10, 2005

*grin* a fellow volunteer put his iron grip on my shoulder last nite. i wanted to say, hey do that more, my shoulder muscles are in shock from all the work, stress and tension in the shelter. I figured i better not tho. I got to hold luna baby but it sure would be nice to get an enfolding hug. save one up for me, k? I’ll save a luna baby giggle for you.

Arbi

Those kids need you. And you need them. And that, I think, is the way it should be. I’m glad you are you.

crystal butterfly

September 11, 2005

tracerzz

awwww… you must be one of the awesomest teachers ever! if you really ARE interested in a second job… i work at home as a medical transcriptionist and it pays pretty well. you’d have to probably take a class on it though before you could actually start working as an MT. note me if you’re interested! =)