It All Started Out So Easy…..

After this last week of Rock-My-World activity, I was seriously looking forward to a little down time.  I had felt a twinge of guilt last night for not calling the guy who runs the concession stand I usually work at on Saturdays to see if he needed me, but only a small twinge.  As twinges go, it was smaller than most.  Not even a real twinge.  More like a twi – without the inge.  Heck – maybe just a tw.  I figured he could call me if he needed me.  He hadn’t called. 

SO – Saturday morning about 8 o’clock and I am lounging in bed with the ‘O’ magazine that Chickie had bought me.  She has bought it for me twice now.  Its interesting….but I have a little bit of trouble relating to that much needed wardrobe fix-up when the jacket costs $900, the pants $98 and the blouse $489.  I mean – how come the pants are so cheap?  Hardly seems like theyre staying consistent with the quality now, does it?  When I finish writing this entry I am going to compose a letter to Oprah herself and DEMAND this situation be rectified. 

As I was saying – I am lounging in bed with Oprah, when my cell phone rings.  “Hello?”  Long story short = HELP HELP HELP – please come work now!!!  Glutton for punishment ME says……uh…..OK.  Be right there.  Geesh.  That’s always been my problem.  Can’t say no.  For example, I remember this one guy I’d just met at a Scottish festival.  He was rugged looking in his disheveled long hair, bulging muscles and kilt.  We got to talking and he wanted to show me his pole for the caber toss.  Of course I COULDN’T say no and….. OOPS!  I almost forgot about today and the concession stand!  Back  to today.

Several teenagers work at the concession stand – most of them students at my school.  Yep – double dose.  I see them all week – and then all weekend.  What more could a teacher ask, right?  Oh, but I am not just any teacher – I am SHE WHO KNOWS.  For example I knew that there was a Foam Party at the club last night.  (Quick expanatory digression:  Foam Party means you go to the club in your bathing suit and they squirt foam all over everyone and you dance around having good “clean” fun.  I am presently withholding my editorial comment about the skimpiness of the female suits, the obvious sexual under and over tones and the questionable suitability of this CLUB activity for 12 and 13 year olds.) 

I am older and tireder than these little darlings….yet here they came, literally DRAGGING their butts in to work.  As each one stumbled in, I asked the appropriate question….

#1 – “Why’re ya late?  Still rolling in the foam”?  This kid could only look at me with glazed eyes and grunt.  UH UH Uh Uh UH

#2 – “Where are your eyes?  I can’t see them!  Did you get too much foam in them”?  This fella gasped and said…..YOU know about that?  Well then – how come you wasn’t there?”  (heh – he gets points for a quick recovery)

#3 – “Too much foam last night”?  This response was the biggest goofiest stupid grin – he was obviously reliving some very special foam-induced memory.

#4 – “Get the foam out of your ears and let’s get to work!”  This launched a litany of complaints about the drying effects of foam on his skin – how he didn’t know it was gonna do that and a description of how much lotion he had to use before he even came IN this morning!

Need I say that getting any actual WORK out of this crew was more than a small challenge today?  Yeah.  I thought not.  To add to this mayhem – the young man who is the short order cook apparently had a REALLY good night with the girl of his choice last night so he was in HIGH spirits as well.  So much so that I had to threaten him with bodily harm if he chose to share the details of his evening with the other guys within my hearing.  “Carlos, honey, there are some things that I just don’t need to know.”

Then came the customers.

“Drinks are $1.50.  Yes – all the drinks.  No, I don’t have any drinks for $1.  You want a blue PowerAde?  OK.  That’s $1.50.  Hang on – you just gave me $1.  I need another $.50.  What do you mean you only have $1?  I just told you that drinks are $1.50……..”

“You want a red one?  OK.  A red one what?  Yes.  I got that honey.  You want red.  Red WHAT?  Red candy?  Red drink?  Red blizzard?  OH.  I see.  You just want a red one.  Right.  I’ll get that for you now…..”

“Yes.  That’s $1.  Perfect!  You gave me the exact right change.  Here are your sour straws.  Thank you.  All done now.  Is that what you wanted?  Yes.  OK  Well now you’ve paid and we’re through.  You’re still standing there.  Uh huh.  OK.  Are you happy with what you bought?  Yes?  Good.  Then you have paid and you can leave now.  That’s right…..”

“Of COURSE we have hamburgers!  And hot dogs, and cheesesteak sandwiches…. Cheesesteak?  What’s on the cheesesteak?  Ummmm…. cheese and steak….What’s the meat?  Steak.  You know.  Cow.  Moooooooo.  STEAK.  Fancy hamburger?????”

“What flavor PowerAde do we have?  Well there’s blue, red, orange and green.  Yes sir, I do realize that you can see the colors.  No – I didn’t realize you wanted to hear the names.  OK – ummmmmm……(squinting) that’s Blue raspberry, fruit punch, orange and lemon-lime.  You want the Blue one?  OK.  Well why didn’t you just say so?”

“No ma’am.  I did not intentionally give away your team hot dogs.  No ma’am I don’t have a thing against you.  You see – you ordered 25 minutes ago and then walked away.  Another team came up and I gave them the hot dogs.  You don’t want cold hot dogs do you?  I had no idea where you went or if you were coming back.  No ma’am.  No.  Really.  Please.  Don’t do that.  Not here – not in front of the kids………….”

Imagine my relief when I got to leave all that behind and come home!  whew!  Looking forward to a lazy day tomorrow……then the phone rang…..and I’m going back tomorrow.  Did I mention that I have a hard time with the word NO?