What To Do…
I am feeling the itch to write an entry, but am doing the old politician’s waffle….flip-flopping back and forth. What to write? What to write??
As I warily circle each topic there are so many decisions to make. It’s like the never ending litany of questions at a restaurant. Soup or Salad? House, Ranch or Blue Cheese? Rice, Potato or Steamed Vegetables? Sweet or White? Baked, Fries, or Mashed? Butter and Sour Cream? Coffee, Tea, Soda, Water or Wine? Red or White? House Brand? Glass or Carafe?
Do I want poetry or prose? Serious or not so much? Past life or present? Student stories or life stories? Struggles and personal, political rant or spiritual? Private, Favorites Only or Public? Spiritual or Secular? Get sexy – or maybe BE a freak? Past, present or future? Am I writing for me….or for you? All original, reprint or survey? SO MANY CHOICES TO MAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is your head spinning or is it just me? Do you think I must *migh* be overanalyzing this just a little bit???? heh
So here is where I think I will go tonight. (I think I’ll go there – but often where I start out and where I end up are different!). I have what I believe to be an interesting defense mechanism. I remember nothing about my childhood, a little of my teen years, almost nothing of marriage #1 and quite a bit of marriage #2. I believe that I have pretty much shut out things that are……too painful maybe? Or nonproductive? I don’t know exactly what or why…but I do know that much of what SHOULD be there does not appear to be there at all. So maybe, by periodically writing down info I DO remember – I will jar loose something I had long forgotten. Maybe. Maybe not. And maybe I’ll just get bored with this after one entry. Or maybe……I’ll just keep stalling and run out of space in my entry so I won’t have to actually write anything that revealing down. That’s a thought as well.
OK. Ahem. Here Goes. I was born. No, I don’t remember THAT. The first thing I remember is my pre-school. It was called Helen Hill. I remember vaguely the old brick front of the building (which is now LONG gone) – and the day that I proved to everyone that I could skip. We were in a big circle in the middle of the room. When it was YOUR turn, you got into the center of the circle and skipped around in a smaller circle. I must have been VERY worried that I wouldn’t be able to pull that feat of coordination off…because I CLEARLY remember being overjoyed that I was in the middle……and I was SKIPPING!!!!!! (as opposed to tripping or falling, that is) Hmmmmmm. Yep. That does it for that year.
The next thing I remember is my kindergarten. It was pretty progressive for the city I live in at the time. It was a little farm….just down the road…between the military base and all the really big expensive houses! We planted corn. I remember stalks that seemed huge – 100 feet tall! I remember falling off the “sled” (a raft for dirt rather than water, essentially) that was hitched to the horse because my parents were there and I wanted to show off…so I didn’t hold on. I remember taking water to school in big RED cannisters during the Cuban missile crisis….and practicing squatting down under the table with my hands over my head. I guess that was going to protect us from the missiles. I remember being embarassed as hell when I got my butt smacked once because it wasn’t in my seat where it belonged. I know there were horses, ducks and other animals. There was a pool I think. I remember tha man who ran the school. His name was John. And I remember my parents telling me that I spelled God J-O-H-N. I guess I was enamored. OK. That’s that year.
First grade….I remember a boy named Dennis who was my friend. He was my “puppy dog”. That’s the game we played…… And my best friend – Cindy. She and I were inseparable. I remember her parents telling me to address them by their FIRST names. That was SO ODD! I remember coming in from recess to watch President Kennedy in Texas…and seeing him shot. I’m trying here – really digging…but that’s it for 1st grade.
In second grade I had Miss Perez. At that time I remember the spelling of God changed to M-I-S-S-P-E-R-E-Z. We got to make things out of CLAY. And use the KILN. And she went to EUROPE and showed us pictures. She was meaner than a snake. And I learned a lot.
Nothig at all for 3rd. Sorry. No wait – that’s when I met Mercedes…..the friend I’ve had all these years – until she stuck a knife in my back after getting me back down to Tampa.
In fourth grade we got to study HUMANITIES. Architecture, Art, Literature, Music and Philosophy. I still have the notebook I put together. She was so cool. But……that’s it.
Fifth grade – was there one?
Sixth grade – Miss Perez again. And the teachers here (my parents included) WALKED OUT. I was out of school for almost 3 weeks over that – because my parents wouldn’t send me for some strike-breaking scab to teach.
And……that’s that. Birth through age 11. Pretty boring stuff. Is that all you guys remember – or do you remember more?
Whew. Got through that successfully – and without even getting really personal. lol I think now I’ll go get Cassidy…cause it sounds like he’s chewing up the couch….again.
An interesting exercise. I have forgotten a lot of my childhood and what I do remember I can’t usually put a date to…just an estimate of when it was.
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Daniel hardly remembers anything. Me, I remember so much I scare my parents. I can still tell you my schedule for grades K-12, in order, including the teachers I had…I even remember the names of kids in my class and where we all sat..and the lunch room, and playground. The whole thing..yep
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I can remember lots of things from childhood but no early memories. Nothing until 2nd grade.
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I am only 19 and I don’t remember too much of my childhood. I chose to block most of it out for different reasons. I guess I only remember school stuff mostly. Nothing from home except for what happened right after something bad did.
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Oh and I had the same problem tonight. I couldnt make up my mind what to write about. In fact I was going to put up an entry asking my favs to vote on whether they wanted garden, cats, or history. 🙂
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I had a boyfriend in kindergarten. His name was Jimmy Lambert. We never talked about being boyfriend and girlfriend. We never held hands. We never kissed. He sat behind me and would play with my hair. I had really long hair then. He moved away the summer after kindergarten, but I remember seeing him sitting on his front porch one day. He looked luminescent. He was my favorite boyfriend ever. 😉
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(2) And, because I am a brat and I like telling people this: My mother was only two months pregnant with me when Kennedy was shot. My daughter gets to tell people “my MOTHER wasn’t even born yet when Kennedy was shot.” Makes people feel really old. Not YOU. Other people. Old people. NOT YOU!
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Uhhhh, sweet or white . . . what?
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I don’t remember much of my childhood, either. I am always in awe of people our age who do.
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I don’t think I can remember anything before high school, really, I don’t think I can! LOL 🙂
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i remember every day in kindergarten we sat in this big circle. one day, while sitting in the circle, i peed on the floor and just scooted over, thinking no one would know i did it. lol~
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LOL. Luna, I remember all too well when Kennedy was shot and I am indeed OLD. I even remember first grade and the unspeakable beauty of Richard Fisher with his crystal blue eyes and corn silk hair. *sigh*. Thanks for the retrospective, Ms. Wolf. Good old days.
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I was 2 when Kennedy was shot, but it’s one of my earliest memories; I was REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF that they’d interrupt “I Love Lucy” just because some crezzident got shot! (That’s how my parents found out, BTW; when I came into the kitchen to complain about my viewing interruption.) You left out the moon landing. Betcha remember that one.
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I thought this was gonna be an entry about writing an entry! LOL RYN: Actually they are Harley-Davidson colours! LOL Hugz
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Most of my childhood memories are bad, so I don’t like to share them.
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I clearly remember my childhood and I’ve often wondered why so many people don’t remember much of anything at all. I think I remember mine because of the extremes I lived between. I lived in a beautiful place with top-notch schools. My family, however, was frequently a big mess. In my elementary school of 500 students, my brother and I were the only kids in school with divorced parents. Imagine!
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because of a love for History, I tend to remember things according to what was going on in American Culture. I had been in 1st grade about 2 months when JFK was killed, I was in the fifth when RFK was shot. High School when Wallace got hit, Watergate WAS the summer between my sophomore and jr years and I have the legal pad notes to prove it. What a tv show..
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I think past pain is like a dirty shirt. It doesn’t seem as dirty to the person wearing it, as it does to those of us who have to smell it. People get comfortable remembering and re living their pain..it’s not easy to let go of..& a lot of people see forgiveness as permission, when it isn’t.
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I actually remember alot, teachers names. My childhood was pretty good when I look back. Fifth is a little blurry except for our teacher during the little Spanish lessons we had during the year. She pronounced “fork” as “fark,” which sounded to me like “fart.” So to this day “tenedor” which is fork in Spanish cracks me up. Cheers!
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rotf! Sorry, but its so heartwarming to know that I am not the only one who whispers and tiptoes around those personal things. I could truly see you struggling and I was cringing with you!!! I only remember the really funny times….and I just fast forward through other thoughts to get to those. I have to work on that, but that’s okay cuz now I know that you do too! lol Hugs!
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I loved this! Might try it!
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RYN – I know that my rant is pointless as all on my favourites list do these things anyway!!
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You’ve inspired me. I read this yesterday and now look what I’ve done. With a smile…
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*ryn* Stop it, I just wet my pants and at our age they stick us in depends for that or put us on one of those silly commercials! (I read ‘big balls’ the first time too.)
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hey! what’s the matter with you people’s eyesight? i said “Bills” not “Balls”. What ARE you people thinking? ahaha.. no! a Big Ball would be like what’s in your next entry! LOL! 🙂
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Great job remembering! I recall very little of my childhood. There is the memory of learning penmanship on lined paper, writing cursive letters over and over again, filling up the page. I have no idea what grade.
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I know what you mean, about wanting to write and then not knowing what to write about. Looks like you did just fine…
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I have so many memories of being little and all through grade school. But reading your entry awakened a few more memories that I had forgotten. 😛 *warmest smiles*
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I was prompted to go back and read this (I missed it) looking at Ahem’s Diary (Still have to read hers). You are not alone in NOT remembering your childhood — mine was very uneventful and there are whole blocks I do not remember. Wonder how universal this is? Wonder if not having siblings my age had anything to do with it? Hmmmmm….nice topic to consider for an entry, thanks!
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I too remember very little of my childhood and teen years – and not a great deal after, either! (And that’s not senility; I’ve always been like that! *grin*) I don’t know whether my life’s been so awful I’ve blocked great chunks out or so uneventful it’s just not worth remembering – but almost certainly the latter! I think we humans vary enormously in our detailed memories.
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