March 20, 2005

My Mother the Car

Anyone remember that old TV show? Where the guy’s mother died and came back as his car…or something like that. I have very vague memories – or maybe memories of memories. (I don’t want anyone to think I’m THAT old!!)

So today I feel a little like the mom – or the car – or something.

Chickie purchased a car today. She is now completely independently mobile. She is excited and ecstatic. She is on cloud nine. Remember YOUR first car? I still do. Mine was a 1967 VW beetle. Yep. The original. And I had so much fun with that car! I remember cramming 8 friends in it to go to the beach. I remember it being light enough that a group of my friends could manage to pick it up and turn it sideways in a parking space or put it on a sidewalk while I was inside somewhere. I remember it being freedom and escape. I remember it giving me status.

Remembering how I felt about my first car helps me just a tad as I struggle with my Mommie feelings about Chickie getting that car. I now have much less control over Chickie’s actions and whereabouts. Of course, she is 18 and what little control I had was mostly in my mind anyway I think.

I am afraid she won’t have the financial wherewithall to make the payments and keep up the insurance.

I am afraid that we made a mistake and purchased a lemon.

I am afraid that she will leave me and the nest of our home entirely – and I can’t keep her safe.

I am….just a little crazy. I know.

I am worried about having to deal with my father’s criticism about how I let Chickie do this that and the other now that she has a car. She is going to have more freedom than I had at this age. She already did, before the car. I’m not sure that’s a good thing – or a bad thing. We could debate the pros and cons all night…. but it’s just a fact. It IS. And so…. there will be new and improved levels of disapproval now as well.

Chickie just came in with two of her friends and one friend’s baby. They were all going somewhere else together to spend the night. I didn’t even get exactly where….. but I do know the two girls and where they live. Am I accepting too much at face value here? That they will be together and safe and doing what they say they will…… I don’t know. She IS 18……

As she left, Chickie stopped in the doorway, looked back at me and, in a voice most mature and firm, instructed me to lock the door behind her and make sure all the other doors were locked as well before I went to bed. I could have laughed and cried. So…..who’s the momma now?

I think this is the stepping stone to another piece of my life as well as hers. I don’t know if I like where this step is taking me. I hope she likes where its taking her. I’m fairly certain neither of us is fully aware or fully prepared for what’s to come.

But then – I guess that’s just life, isn’t it?

whowhatwhere

March 21, 2005

How scary!!! Know what though? Even when I was 20 and in college my mom made me come home at 10 every night, and I had to ask to go somewhere.Oh and no R rated movies either!

Kathleen

Oh my….big steps. No, we never know where our lives are going…sometimes that’s better. Chickie will make her way in the world. My first car was a Corvair with major transmission problems. No fun memories of that old thing!

Panini Queen

“I am….just a little crazy. I know.” No, what you are is a mother. With all that comes with that title. Though our intention in raising them is to teach them to leave us, it is a hard blow when they do. And yet we can be so proud that they are. Even as we cry that they can. (((hugs)))

tae's heartbeats

mine is almost 20, she took me in to get my ears pierced today, isn’t that backwards? 🙂

Illuminati Apprentice

I faintly remember a show from my childhood called “The Time Tunnel.”

Willy & Wilma

It’s sad when they fly the coop, but that’s how it’s supposed to be, and we wouldn’t want it any other way Just hope everything goes well for her,.

The Efficient Oak

March 22, 2005

Wooden Sandals

At 18, there’s very little playpen left to keep them in. They still need us oh so much, but its a need that comes on their terms. Not because they are wise and ready, but because they have to learn things now and go through the process of life that eventually proves us right and all knowing. lol It the meantime, our bellies hurt.

lulu

it is a scary yet so exciting time in her life, spreading her wings… but she’ll always need you there by her side…

Starbright

My first car was a red 1965 beetle. Fun and freedom. It sounds like she might be looking at this step to freedom as a step to maturity as well. We can hope… Don’t let your dad get you down. If he’s like my mom, he would be criticizing you if you DIDN”T help her get a car too.

RYN Why am I making you ashamed??

RNBiker

I am sure you have taught her well…and she will still make her own mistakes! They do that you know! My first car was a 1966 Mk II Ford Cortina. 1300cc, poopy brown colour and a rust bucket. But the engine was superb! Hugz

.imp.

Even though I’m not a mom, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling is anything but normal! And she’s right…lock up.

Torin

I don’t think we parents are ever prepared to recognize that they’re not babies anymore and really, they’re not all that different from us when we were that age. With a sigh…

RYN: Of course a special garage for the new Harley! LOL Hugz

Arbi

How I remember my first car! It was a real lemon – but I made lemonade. The sense of freedom was wonderful. I can imagine how happy Chickie is right now!I can also imagine your mixed feelings. Yes, she’s growing up and this is what you want. But as more choice opens out before her there are also more opportunities to choose badly as well as to choose well. Best wishes to you both.

FallingDog

What Chickie does is really none of your dad’s business. If he has a problem with her behavior, he needs to take it up with her and leave you out of it. Chickie’s 18 now! I wrecked my first car. That’s what I remember. Good grief. I don’t know how my mother got thru my teen years.

Luna Blue

every kid is different some need more freedom and some need to be put on a leash but its not your dads decision its yours trust yourself you know your kid better then anyone

BBe

Yes ma’am, that IS life. And yes, she IS 18. It’s so hard to let go, isn’t it? They have no idea….

Mns

hang on, you’re in for a ride! 🙂 my first car was a ’69 toyota, black reclining front bucket seats. lol. i actually paid for half of it with the income from my summer job. my parents paid for the rest. i was younger than 18~

HeartUntoMind

March 23, 2005

OMG!!! This is so so so COOL! You will see a big difference now methinks. The independence that brings a chunk of maturity, she has now become adult in social eyes and that does translate to self worth, it just does. Whatever happens you will handle it, oh yes, you so can and you will. (HUG!)

crystal butterfly

March 24, 2005

What can I say. I’ve said my kids are worse chaparones than my parents.

lifeisuhmistury

As soon as I read “My Mother the Car” I was giggling…I didn’t know anyone else remembered that show! (((HUGS))) Well gosh, the step is taken and just like the first one they take…none of them can be taken back…and most of the time we wouldn’t want it any other way. (“Most” is the key word…snickers) Oh sweetie, you’re a wonderful, caring, zany, infreakingcredible mom.And she cares.YAY!

I think it lasted one season. I remember I liked the song, to which I can not remember the lyrics..I liked the show, but you know, you tell a kid, ok a guys mom comes back as a car, and the kid says, ok cool.. It never occured to me that Star Trek couldn’t happen exactly the way they said it happened..your not old.. your mature. Like a fine bottle of wine. Vintage..