Not Your Average Survey

Shamelessly ripped off from another diarist – or two – but presented uniquely from the point of view of my middle school students:

Z – Zodiac sign: Zodiac sign?  What’s that?  There’s no zoo around here.  Quarium.

Y – Yummy food: plantanos, arroz con pollo, pizza, McDonalds!  Miss!  Can we make Monkey Bread now?

X – X-rays you’ve had: arms, legs – Hey did you see that x-ray of the monkey’s penis?

W – Wearing right now: FOR THE BOYS:  jeans belted BELOW the buttocks – strategically showing off their boxers, $150.00 spotless athletic shoes (however they cannot afford LUNCH), and t-shirts that are a minium of 3 sizes too large.  FOR THE GIRLS: Jeans that are 3 sizes too SMALL, tops that dover less than half of the available real estate, lots of hair gel, and the same $150.00 spotless athletic shoes (insuring the same laci of ability to pay for LUNCH).

V – Voting for: the mock election our school participated in showed KERRY with an overwhelming majority.  (Who says kids aren’t mature enough to vote?)

U – Unknown fact about me: NONONONONONONONONO!  I already know WAY too much about my students.  What their ‘family business’ is, how many of their family members are in jail, which one is being blackmailed over internet sex tapes (yes-this one is tragically true), which ones are sexually active, which ones are abused, how many times they have been ‘locked up’, which 6th graders will soon be driving to middle school… PLEASE do not tell me any more!

T – Time you wake up: 30 minutes into first period

S – Song you last heard: “Locked Up”… by AKON – anyone surprised?

R – Reason to smile: When they smile, I get nervous. 

Q – Quote you like:  You my dawg, man! 

P – Phobia[s]: bad hair, the ‘wrong’ shoes, not looking cool

O – One time on accident:  I gave my teacher the right phone number when she said she wanted to call home and talk to my parents.

N – Number of siblings: Miss!  Do you want me to count my step brothers and sisters, too?  How about my half-brothers and sisters?  What about my momma’s baby-daddy’s kids?

M – Mom’s name: Mom

L – Love to watch this movie over and over again:  2Fast 2Furious, anything involving Freddy and/or Jason and lots of blood

K – Kindergarten reminds you of: Man, I had this OLD teacher – and she smelled funny!  I was so BAD – she used to cry.

J – Job title: Man, I don’t want no job.  I’m gonna be a rapper and make lots of money.  They women all want me.

I – Instruments: Band fags have instruments, I’m too cool for that.

H – Home town: Puerto Rico!  Cuba!  (apparently there are no towns in those countries….)

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: WORMS~~~~~~~~~

F – Favorite song of the moment:  Anything by 50 Cent or ANY Hip-Hop artist that sings/raps about SEX.

E – Easiest person to talk to:  Anyone within ear shot

D – Dad’s name: Various – many “Dad” in NAME only!

C – Career in future:   What THEY see:  NBA, MLB, NFL, MTV.  What *I* see:  McDonald’s, Auto Mechanic, mostly blue collar.  But there are a few that I think will surprise everyone – in a GOOD way!

B – Band listening to right now:  Marching Archers!!! (OK – so nobody REALLY listens to our school band…but then nobody calls the “artists” these kids listen to a “BAND” – so what’s a wolfie to do?

A – Age: From 11 – 16!

For better or worse, that’s the way it is in my school.  Some of it is pretty funny and some of it is heart-breaking.  Before you think me harsh or overly cynical – I do NOT teach in a typical “MIDDLE CLASS” school.  My kids are some of the most “economically disadvantaged” (don’t you just f-ing HATE political correctness?) kids in this entire school district – which is the 11th largest IN THE NATION.  These are tough kids, a large number of whom have already dealt with tougher life situations that many of us can begin to imagaine. 

These are MY kids.  They need somebody to laugh with them, love them, help them and steer them along the path as best they can.  Every day I come in here – and I do the best I can.