Added Dimensions

Several entries ago I mentioned that I have taken up the volunteering habit…as a result of Chickie’s community service requirement. I have had quite an interesting array of experiences so far. Every experience has been uniquely provocative. I expect more challenges next month since I am signed up. But yesterday… was a horse of a different color.

I went in to the food warehouse, expecting to walk people around picking up their cases of groceries. Right after I signed in, however, I was asked if I could help out preparing a bulk mailing in the mailroom. Sure. I can do that. At least I won’t have to go into that freezer this week!

It was not what I thought. For some reason, the terms “mail room” & “bulk mailing” had conjured up images of an assembly line collating, folding, stapling, labeling, stamping & sorting. What I actually saw, when I opened the door, was a small conference room with a large table, ‘surrounded’ by 2 people attempting to perform all the above duties. I put on my best cheery smile & waded in.

The two people were a husband & wife team. I’ll call them Alice & Jerry… names from my first basic reading primers…for these were very basic people. They told me what needed to be done, & I sat down to workk. As my rhythm became established, I had some time to look at my mail-room buddies & talk with them.

Alice was a short heavy-set woman. She wore a flowery blouse & blue stretch pants. Although her clothing was clean & well kept, it was sensible rather than trendy & clearly inexpensive. Her shoes were well scuffed sturdy walking shoes. She sported a short, short coif with the tendrils plastered closely to her head in an attempt, I suspect, to control her unruly salt & pepper curls.

Jerry, was also rather short & heavy set; although much heavier than Alice. I was sitting across the table from him so I could not observe him as carefully as I could Alice. He wore a stretchy blue golf-shirt. He had large beefy hands, a big smile, & was a bit cross-eyed. They both looked to be in their late 40s – early 50s.

As we worked, bits & pieces of their story began to unfold. The reason I was drafted into mailroom service is that their regular 3rd person (Alice’s mother) was unavailable because she was in the hospital getting some sort of shunt in her kidney. I commiserated & wished “Mom” well. That’s when the litany of health woes began…

Alice had surgery a few years ago for a brain tumor. Now she has another one – but it’s slow growing. She is an insulin dependant diabetic. By the way – she suffers from frequent epileptic seizures. (She thought she should warn me…just in case) Anything else? Arthritis. Just when I thought the list was over, she casually mentioned that she is also a paranoid schizophrenic with general anxiety disorder….& some other mental health term, but by that time my brain was on disease overload & I couldn’t absorb any more maladies, so I can’t remember what it was. Need I mention that Alice is classified as 100% disabled & her only income is from a government disability check?

Not to be outdone, Jerry chimed in. He is morbidly obese & on an experimental drug which blocks fat. The drug apparently makes him a frequent flyer in the restroom (Alice explained to me that this is how the fat is passed out of his body – by pooping). He is legally blind & also suffers from arthritis…& I’m not sure what else since he chose not to discuss his mental health issues. Need I mention that Jerry also is classified as 100% disabled & in similar financial straits?

By this time I was looking around & marking the nearest exits in case I needed an immediate escape route. I am locked in a small room with nutty folks and a frightening array of physical ailments. How did this happen? I tried to refocus on folding, stapling & labeling.

Alice is a chatty type, & she continued to talk.

Alice & Jerry met on the internet. He moved here from California just to marry her. They have been married nearly 3 years now, & as I watched them, it became very apparent that they love each other very much.

Both Alice & Jerry qualify for some government assisted “medically needy” health insurance even though they cannot get Medicaid (for whatever insane red-tape government bureaucracy-ridden reason there may be). Alice is allowed to work a few hours a week without endangering her disability check. They volunteer because it allows them to purchase a goodly supply of food for way below grocery store costs.

When they got married, Alice wanted a real wedding. She had been married before, but had eloped, & Jerry had never been married. A friend bought the fabric for her dress & veil… & she made her bridal ensemble. She also made bouquets for herself & her attendants. Her church was most generous as well. Not only did they waive fees for the used of the church & fellowship hall & the pastor’s time…but they also came together & provided the couple with a bona fide reception. All they had to do was provide the meat, which was cold cuts they bought & froze until time for the wedding, courtesy of their volunteer time. I was truly touched.

Every Sunday, someone from their church comes to get them from their & deliver them to services then take them home again…for both morning & evening services. Alice’s parents are both still alive, have been married 68 years, & assist Alice & Jerry with transportation by driving them when possible.

I walked out of there yesterday with a small cache of groceries & some mental challenges of my own.

I have a lot when stacked up against Alice & Jerry. I have my health & the ability to work. I have a house & I volunteer by my choice not by virtue of necessity. I have a car & am completely mobile on my own. While I am no thing of great beauty, I am more physically attractive than they are. Many of my clothes are quite nice. My life has not been as difficult as theirs.

On the other side of that coin… I do not have a loving companion to share my ups & downs with. I do not belong to a spiritual community that takes such good care of its members. I am not so easily satisfied with the basics.

Alice & Jerry & I have very different lives…but I don’t believe that I can say anymore that mine is “better” than theirs…. a statement I would have been inclined to make before I got to know them yesterday